Page 21 of Here Comes Trouble
She took a second to centre herself, then did as he said, staring into his striking green-blue eyes and trying to communicate how she felt through the power of her expression.
‘Not bad, but you need to stop worrying about what I’m thinking of you and let me see you.’
Heat crept up her neck. ‘I have no idea how to do that,’ she bit out in frustration.
He was looking at her so intently she thought she might pass out. Getting up from his chair, he knelt in front of her. ‘What are you hiding?’ he murmured.
He was looking at her differently now, she was sure of it. Not that she could put her finger on exactly what made her think that. It was a feeling. An unsettling, exciting, monstrous feeling she was almost afraid to acknowledge.
Heart pummelling her chest, Jess willed herself not to look away. He was close to her, so close she could smell the fresh, citrusy smell of him, mingling with the heat of his body. Her sensitised skin tingled all over and suddenly the feeling seemed to peak and was swiftly followed by an overwhelming tiredness. She tried to – unsuccessfully – stifle a yawn.
Xander laughed quietly. ‘Okay, I can see you’re exhausted so I’m going to release you from the torture.’ He sat back on his haunches.
Jess let out a loud sigh of relief. ‘Thank God for that.’
He frowned at her. ‘You really don’t enjoy being looked at, do you?’
She looked back at him, battling with the mixture of shame and defiance that coursed through her. ‘I hate it.’
‘Why?’
Sighing, she looked off towards the vast, sparkling expanse of the lake, giving herself a moment to gather her wits. She should tell him, so he’d know she wasn’t just being difficult. ‘My mum was a model in the eighties and she’d had this dream that I would be one too. Unfortunately, she ended up with a chubby, odd-looking child who hated being thrust into the limelight.’ She laughed, hoping to sound flippant, but instead managing to sound strained.
‘It didn’t stop her from dressing me up like a doll from the age of four and making me parade around in those awful beauty pageants you see on shockumentaries sometimes though,’ she ploughed on, not daring to look at Xander. ‘I absolutely hated them, but she made me do it until I was old enough to categorically refuse. I always came last in those things and the constant look of disappointment on her face would make me physically ill.’ She snorted, but still couldn’t bring herself to catch his eye. ‘Ever since then I’ve hated being looked at and judged. I prefer to blend into the background.’ She shrugged, hoping she hadn’t completely blown things here with him. After his kindness that morning she felt like she owed him an explanation about her reticence to be drawn. She didn’t want him to think she was just being a prima donna about it.
When she finally plucked up the courage to meet his gaze her insides swooped at the expression of compassion on his face.
‘So why did you agree to come here and go through with this if it meant putting yourself through so much torment?’ he asked gently.
* * *
Xander held his breath, waiting to hear what would spill from those cherubic lips of hers.
Say it’s because I fascinate you and you want to get to know me better.
The intensity of his need to hear those words shocked him.
She paused, staring back at him, a whole gamut of expressions running across her face.
‘Because I need this interview with you so I can impress my editor.’ She looked as though she was going to say more, but then clamped her mouth shut.
He snorted in frustration, the intimacy of the moment broken by her failure to tell him what he wanted to hear.
His determination to win her over tripled.
Getting up, he braced himself against the arms of her chair, gathering his strength to leave without planting a reassuring kiss on those soft-looking lips first.
She was a total contradiction. On the one hand self-assured and feisty, but on the flipside, withdrawn and uncertain.
‘I’m going to go and work in the studio for a while and you should try and catch up on your sleep, but we should go out for dinner tonight. There’s a great restaurant in Salo I want to try.’ His rebellious gaze dropped back to her full, inviting mouth and he had to force himself to look away.
‘Okay, I’d like that.’
He nodded. ‘Great. Let’s go about eight o’clock.’
‘Eight’s great,’ she said, nodding too.
‘See you later.’ He pushed himself up straight and strode away from her without looking back.
