Page 30 of Best Mistake Ever
I slide off the counter and take a deliberate step away from him, trying to school my errant body into calming down.
‘The thing is… about that time I tried to kiss you,’ I begin, thinking fast. ‘I should explain about that. I’d, uh, twisted my ankle and was taking some strong painkillers, so I could still do my job, and they had a strange effect on me. They made me a bit, er, forward. So I really should apologise for my inappropriate behaviour while I was on them.’
‘Painkillers?’ He looks incredulous, and honestly, who can blame him. If it wasn’t for Dee’s story about her own experience the other day, I probably wouldn’t buy it as an excuse either.
‘Look, the thing is, I really want to be professional here,’ I say, hating myself for the lie. And for the pained expression on his face that’s entirely down to me. ‘I think you’re an amazing person, but I’m really serious about wanting to do a good job for you, so I don’t think we should be more than colleagues. We should keep those lines clear. I’m really sorry if I gave you the impression I wanted more.’
He rubs a hand over his hair, then shakes his head, looking up at me from behind his dark brows.
It’s the sexiest thing I’ve ever witnessed. And the saddest.
‘Okay, I accept you don’t want anything to happen here and that’s obviously fine. I respect you and I’ll keep my distance fromnow on.’ He pauses and keeps looking at me with that dark, sexy stare. ‘But I don’t understand what’s been going on here. I’m a bit lost, Dee.’
I swallow hard, feeling like a total bitch. I’m not surprised he’s so confused about my actions when in his mind, a combination of me and Dee is actually one and the same person.
He must be starting to think I have a split personality.
Which, if I think about it, is actually bang on the money, in a way.
I’m discombobulated because this feels like it’s moved very fast to me, but of course it won’t feel like that to Jonah, because he’s known Dee for a few weeks now, so in his mind, he’s right in the middle of starting a potential relationship with her.
Ugh! What a mess.
I want to cry.
‘I’m so sorry. I never meant to make this difficult for you,’ I say, truthfully this time.
His frown stays in place while he studies me for a few moments longer, perhaps waiting to see whether I’ll change my mind again. But when I don’t say anything else and just stand there like a lemon, digging my nails into my palms, he finally gives me one last curt nod and leaves the pantry.
I watch him go, his broad shoulders tense and his head slightly dipped in what I assume is disappointment. Pushing away the surge of guilt I feel at being the harbinger of his gloom, I remind myself that Dee can fix all this once she’s back, if she wants to. He’s clearly into her, so I’m sure she’ll be able to make up a feasible excuse to get him back on side.
I try very hard not to allow a bitter swell of jealousy in my gut to rise any further.
He’s never been mine to have. And I promised myself not to get involved in any distracting relationships for a while anyway.
Jonah Jacobson is not the guy for me and he never will be.
10
JONAH
Dammit!How thehelldid I read that so wrong?
I pace about, back in the cottage, cursing my bad judgement – again!
Clearly, I was high on adrenaline after feeling so relieved and positive about our performance – probably because it was the first time I’ve enjoyed performing in a very long time – and I misread the signals.
I could have sworn she was into me though. Especially after she tried to kiss me the other day. But it turns out she was just high on prescription drugs.
Or so she says.
That has to be bullshit, doesn’t it? It’s certainly the most far-fetched excuse I’ve ever heard. But then it might account for the change in personality I’ve witnessed recently.
Mightn’t it?
Flopping down onto the sofa, I put my head in my hands, my fingertips digging in to my forehead.
Argh! What’s she playing at? Is there something going on here that I’m just not seeing? I know I’m being completely paranoid, but does Tessa have some hand in this? But whywould she? She’s not made contact with me at all since leaving and she has no skin in the game here financially. It was my money that paid for the place to be renovated and because we weren’t married and don’t have any kids, I don’t owe her any maintenance. Not that she’s ever asked for it.
