Page 60 of Best Mistake Ever
I give back as good as I’m getting.
We grunt and moan and gasp in wild abandon, our bodies slapping together hard. It’s carnal and animalistic and real. So real.
I’ve never been so turned on.
Feeling a need to take more control, I rock us to the side and he allows me to roll on top of him, our bodies miraculously staying locked together. I ride him hard, rubbing my clit against his pubic bone and I wrap my fingers around the tops of his arms and hold on as I feel myself begin to come.
It’s powerful. So powerful, I lose myself in the sheer pulsing joy of it.
This – this is what I’ve wanted all along.
To feel this way.
I hear Jonah’s own moans of pleasure start to build beneath me and I keep riding him, taking delight in the lingering waves of my orgasm as he comes too, his fingers digging into my hips.
I collapse on top of him, my head next to his on the pillow, feeling his chest rise and fall beneath mine, our bodies hot and our skin slick.
‘That’s what we both needed, right? Closure,’ he whispers into my ear, his breath coming in short, hard pants. ‘A full stop to the whole damn circus.’
Sitting up, I frown down at him, my brain slow to catch up with what he just said.
When it finally does, I suck in a sharp breath, aware of a hot dread washing over my whole body.
Before I can reply, he grips my hips and lifts me off him, depositing me on the bed next to him, then rolls away and gets up, leaving me staring after him in shock.
What just happened?
‘No. That’s not what I need at all,’ I say, sitting up. ‘I want –you. I want a relationship with you.’
He’s searching around for his clothes now and after locating them all, pulls on his boxers, then his jeans. ‘Not going to happen. We’re done now,’ he says as he does up the buttons, not making eye contact with me. ‘I’m not ready to have another relationship, especially since I only seem to be attracted to women who end up fucking me over and I really don’t want that for myself.’
‘I won’t fuck you over,’ I say, hating the shake in my voice.
‘Too late. You already have.’
‘Please don’t be like that.’
He doesn’t respond, just pulls his t-shirt over his head.
I’ve lost him and I feel desperate about it.
‘I love you,’ I blurt, then wince at how pathetic and needy that sounds.
‘Sure you do, Bea.’ He finally turns to look at me for one long moment, tears glinting in his eyes. Then he shakes his head. ‘Bye.’
Without another word, he strides out of the room, banging the door closed behind him.
I just sit there, staring after him, then wince as I hear the outer door bang as well as he leaves the house.
So that’s it then. He’s gone. Probably out of my life for ever.
Getting off the bed on shaky legs, I gather up my clothes and pull them on, forcing back the tears that are threatening to break at any second.
I’m feeling everything right now, but mostly anger at myself.
What the hell did I think would happen? That we’d have sex and it would magically make everything okay? Did I really stoop so low as to try and seduce him into forgiving me? What a bloody fool I am.
But I was desperate. I didn’t know what else to do to get through to him.
