Page 55 of Best Mistake Ever
I really fell for her. Hard.
I’d thought I was in love with Tessa, but this thing with Dee – no,Bea, for fuck’s sake – has shown me that was nothing compared to how I feel now.
Wrecked.
Humiliated.
Sad.
Despite feeling all kinds of anger towards her, I still want her. I can’t stop thinking about her. I want to see her and talk to her. But I know that would be a terrible idea.
I can’t trust her.
I need answers though to calm the swirling thoughts in my head so I can sleep again. And the only other person who can help me with that is the real Dee. Delilah.
Perhaps I should go and confront her about this whole sorry mess, since it sounds like she was just as much to blame for making such a fucking fool out of me.
And I’ll get the satisfaction of telling her that she’s fired to her face.
Yes, that’s what I’ll do.
I won’t go in; I’ll just do it on the doorstep. Cold and clean.
I stand up, my head swimming a little from the effect of all the alcohol I’ve consumed, though I don’t feel drunk any more. I’m suddenly clear headed. Purposeful. Affirmative action will help and I can feel my blood pumping through my veins at the thought of getting some sort of closure here.
I head over to my office in the main house and look up Dee’s address from the CV she gave me and which I never read properly. If I had, would I have been fooled by this crazy sister swap thing they had going?
I scan down it, distracted for a moment as I look for clues. I’m not sure what I’m searching for, but somewhere in the back of my mind, I’m aware I’m trying to find something to make me feel better about being taken for such a ride.
The CV’s actually a bit of a mess, with a lot of inconsistencies. There’s a strange mix of her having a Business degree but also arts-based work experience and outside interests. Now I look at it, I can pick out the mixture of the two sisters – one using the other’s qualifications to land the job in the first place, I suspect.
Well, that’s probably fraud or something right there. I’m not entirely sure, but it’s definitely dodgy. Dee’s been lying about her suitability for the job. A solid case of gross misconduct, so she’ll not be able to come back at me for unfair dismissal.
I look at the personal details section. There it is. Her address: a flat in Bath. Sliding my phone out of my pocket, I book a taxi on the app and go outside to wait for it to turn up, pacing back and forth until it does, feeling a renewed sense of purpose as I count down the minutes till I can confront the perpetrator of my latest humiliation.
The taxi pulls up to a row of Georgian terraced houses and I thank the driver and get out, feeling a bit more sober now.
I’ve spent the whole journey trying and failing to stop myself from playing out what happened with Bea at the lake yesterday over and over in my head and I feel like I’m going nuts with it.
The way she kissed me. It blew my mind.
I wanted it to happen so much and when it did, my body went into overdrive.
There’s a heaviness in my chest now though, weighing me down. A deep, grinding sadness making my head throb.
To go from elation to shocked disbelief was a sucker punch to the gut and I’m still reeling from it.
How could I have not seen it? The total change in attitude and competence should have been a huge red flag, but I was so attracted to the ‘new’ her, I let it blind me.
And how could she have told those lies right to my face? Mostly lies of omission, sure, but they were still dishonest. I remember with a sting of humiliation how she let me tell her all those personal things about myself. Not just about Tessa, but how I felt about my relationship with my dad.
Shit!I can’t believe I told Bea so much about that.
But I thought, at the time, that she cared. Cared about me.
Taking a breath, I walk up to the front door of the town house where Dee’s flat is and look for the panel of buzzers.
I need to stay calm now. Be assertive. Do what needs to be done, get some closure and then go home and start all over again.
