Page 18 of Three's a Crowd
Daisy was so angry with herself, she kicked the table leg, nearly breaking her toe. Getting up, she hopped around in pain for a while, cursing herself, Zach, Adam, the unfairness of the world, before dropping heavily back onto the seat and burying her face in her hands. How had she got herself into this mess?
How?
Finally, the holiday came to a close.
Daisy was so relieved to be getting away from the bad atmosphere between her and Zach that she had her suitcase packed the night before, which was unusually organised for her, and woke up early the next morning ready to leave straight away.
Unfortunately, everyone else seemed to be trying to stretch their last morning out as much as possible and sat around breakfasting for an hour, idly chatting.
At one point, she noticed Zach trying to catch her eye whilst she was chomping down on a piece of toast and choked on it until she was red in the face and her eyes streamed. Adam seemed to be ignoring her now, but Sam patted her on the back until she was able to compose herself again.
Daisy left them all finishing their breakfast and retreated to her room, flinging herself onto the bed and screwing her eyes shut in self-disgust. How typical, to make a fool of herself in front of Zach like thatagain.
God, she hated him.
No, not him. Not really. She hated the way he made her feel: like she’d acted like a lush who was now beneath his contempt. But he’d been just as into it as she had, she was sure of it.
Just as she thought this, there was a knock on her door. Her heart sank. She just wanted to be left alone for a few minutes to be miserable in peace, but it seemed it was not to be.
‘Come in,’ she said resignedly. The door was pushed open to reveal Zach, who frowned at her, as if it washerthat was botheringhim.
‘What do you want?’ Daisy asked, sitting up and experiencing the now familiar rush of longing at the sight of him.
His hair was still rumpled from sleep and just looking at his lithe body, leaning confidently against the doorframe, gave her goosebumps.
The tension in the air lay thick between them.
‘Look,’ he started, then took a breath and blew it out, as if speaking to her was giving him pain. ‘I just want you to know that I didn’t set it up, okay? I wouldn’t do that. I just made a mistake. It never should have happened. Not like that. Not with you.’
Despite his seemingly apologetic words, his voice held the usual sarcastic ring to it and Daisy felt herself grow angry again.
‘Just leave me alone, okay? I get that I’m merely a mistake to you and guess what? You are to me too. So, can we please forget it happened. I don’t want to talk about it ever again.’
He looked at her for a moment, then went to open his mouth to say something else.
She cut him off. ‘I don’t need you to “heal me,” thanks very much.’
His expression clouded over at this and he clearly decided there wasn’t any point saying anything else, so just nodded, then turned and left, slamming the door behind him.
Daisy punched the pillows behind her in agitation until she felt the tension lift a little. Flopping back onto the bed, she lay there for a while staring up at the ceiling, going over what had happened between them. The low throb of lust was quickly being replaced by a sinking feeling at the humiliation she felt about the whole thing now.
It was hopeless.
But at least she was leaving today and wouldn’t ever have to see him again if she didn’t want to. She was old enough to refuse to come on family holidays now.
The thought of this being the last ever one brought tears to her eyes, which she swiped away with her hand. No. She wasn’t going to mope about this. She was stronger than that. Uni would solve all of this angst. She’d be too busy to even think about Zach and the ball of pain that seemed to have taken up residence in the middle of her ribcage.
Her mother called her down a few minutes later and she went to help bundle the luggage into the car.
After saying a hurried goodbye, first to Andy and Sally, then to Sam and finally to Adam, who just muttered a cursory, ‘Bye’, and walked off, she looked around to see if there was any sign of Zach.
‘If you’re looking for Zach, he left to get his train already,’ Sam said, as she walked out of the living room. ‘He said to say goodbye. He didn’t want to disturb you.’
Holding back another rush of hot tears, she thanked Sam and gave him one last hard squeeze – at least he was still speaking to her – before going off to find her parents, who were waiting by the car.
It was the most disastrous holiday she’d ever had, she reflected as they set off back to Oxford. She’d somehow managed to anger not one, but two people she cared about a lot, not to mention losing her virginity in a desperate fumble in a cold,damp cellar, instead of joyously in a warm, plush bed, as she’d always hoped.
She didn’t regret that it had been with Zach though, not really. Deep down, she recognised she’d always fantasised he might be her first lover. She just wished it had been under better circumstances.
