Page 39 of She Devil
It’s time for me to break away from the life I thought I wanted in London and start living it the way I always wanted to when I was younger.
With Jamie by my side?
Perhaps.
If he feels the same way I do.
Which I think he might.
It certainly feels possible right now with him pressed to me, his arms encircling me as though he never wants to let me go.
But then I’ve been wrong about him before, I remind myself.
I can only hope that this time my instincts are sound.
CHAPTER NINE
Jamie
AFTERWARDSWETAKEa bath together.
She sits between my legs, her back to my chest with my arms wrapped around her.
It feels right, our bodies melded together so perfectly.
The intensity of our fucking over the last couple of days has both surprised and fascinated me. I had no idea I could reach the highs I have with her. No idea I could reach a state where my body physically aches for hers to be pressed against, beside or around me.
Her total trust in me, downstairs in my library just now, pretty much blew my mind.
I still feel a bit unnerved by it, to tell the truth.
The way she looked at me after I said that stupid thing about only wanting to taste alcohol when it was on her skin had shaken me at the time. Because I realised it was too romantic a thing to say. Too personal and weighted with feeling. Which is why I’d flipped the mood into one of me dominating her instead. I’d wanted to show her I was still in charge of my feelings.
But then that had got away from me too when she told me that that filthy, intimate act was all mine—that most personal sacrifice of her body. All mine. And I realised she was totally giving herself to me. Trusting me.
In those profound, emotionally raw moments it seemed as if she was only just stopping short of sayingI love you.
This should have delighted me—persuading her to fall for my charms had been my aim in getting her here, after all—but it didn’t. It scared me. Because of what it might mean.
And now, lying here in the water with her, I’m intensely aware of the pressure of time ticking away.
Tomorrow is our last day together and then our deal is complete.
I still need to ask her the questions that I’ve been avoiding touching on until I’m satisfied she trusts me enough to answer honestly. But I find now that I’m not so sure I want to know. Or if I want to act on the information any more, whatever it turns out to be. Whatever April’s father did, it doesn’t matter so much to me any more. Though perhaps I should have it, just so I can mentally put the past to rest.
What matters is that we’ve both been given a chance to move on. To wherever that might be.
But I don’t want to ask her about it right now. I can’t bring myself to ruin this feeling of peace I have inside me.
So it’ll be tomorrow, then.
Tomorrow I’ll get out of her what my father wanted me to know.
‘Tell me about your life now,’ I say to her as I run my fingers over her wet, soapy skin—from the magnificent swell of her breasts to the gentle jut of her hip bones. I suddenly can’t imagine not being able to touch this body again.
‘It’s mostly work, work, work,’ she murmurs. ‘The job I do is usually so intense, there’s not a lot of time for fun.’
‘I’m sorry to hear that,’ I mutter against her hair, breathing in the fresh, intoxicating scent of her, committing it to memory.
