Page 43 of She Devil
‘Our relationship wouldn’t have survived it. But I couldn’t tell you that because I didn’t want to put you through the same pain and anguish I’d gone through. I cared about you too much to hurt you like that.’
His face is a mask, rigid and unreadable, but I sense his anger simmering beneath.
I wrap my arms around my middle and hug myself tightly, desperate for any kind of comfort. ‘It was all so messed up. I could barely look at you after that, knowing what your father had done. It felt so icky and wrong knowing thatyour fatherandmy motherhad been lovers. So screwed up. It tarnished everything we’d had, made it feel seedy. I was terrified we’d all be treated like lepers socially. Everyone would have been whispering and laughing at us behind our backs. Wondering whether we were actually related.’
He looks at me sharply. ‘What the hell are you talking about?’
‘Did you not hear what I said? The affair had been going on foryears.’
He looks absolutely floored.
‘That’s why I broke things off so sharply and wouldn’t see you. I wanted to wait until I had the DNA test results back, just in case.’
‘And are we?’ he asks, his voice a deep growl.
‘Are we what?’
‘Related.’
‘No. My DNA test came back as a match to my father.’
‘Well, that’s something at least,’ he says with a cold, cynical smile.
I hesitate, but now the truth is out I know I’ll have to tell him the other thing that’s played on my mind for the last decade.
‘I strongly suspect Juno might actually be your half-sister, though—as does my father, I think, though neither of us have ever said so out loud. I’m sure my father believes it because of the way he acts around Juno. He’s either cold with her or he acts as though she’s not even present in the room. It breaks my heart to see it, but I can’t do anything about it. Thank goodness Juno is so grounded and mostly able to shrug it off. I’ve seen her literally do that many a time.’
‘Was this affair going on when my mother was still alive?’ he asks roughly, though I suspect he’s already figured out the answer to this.
‘I think so, yes,’ I say with a sigh. ‘I suspect that’s why she drank. Or at least it might have contributed to it. Your father thought she knew about the affair. He blamed himself for her depression and alcoholism.’
He drops his head into his hands and stares down at the floor, his body rigid with shock.
‘All these secrets and lies. It’s utterly disgusting.’
‘I know. That’s how I felt when I found out too.’
He looks up at me again and I suck in a sharp breath at the loathing I see in his face. ‘I’m talking about you deliberately keeping this from me for all this time.’ He rounds on me, his eyes flashing with anger, and I take a step backwards in shock.
‘How dare you decide whether I got to know this stuff or not? To make that choice for me? You put your and your father’s pride before our relationship!’ he shouts at me.
‘That’s not why I did—’
‘It wasn’t your decision to make, April. You should have trusted me. Trusted in us.’
He’s pointing an angry finger at me now, his eyes wild.
My body floods with adrenaline. My pulse is racing in response to his anger, but I know I need to keep calm. It’s the only way to get through this.
‘You took away the opportunity for me to deal with what my father had done while he was alive,’ he says. His shock now seems to have turned into full-on fury and it’s all focussed on the one person he has left to blame. Me.
‘I can’t even talk to him about it now. It’s too late. How am I supposed to come to terms with that? To try and forgive him? Clearly you thought I was too weak to handle it.’ He points his finger at me again. ‘That’s what hurts the most. You had no faith in me. You took my power away. And I can’t forgive you for that.’
Before I can respond to this he brushes past me and swings open the door to his bedroom, turning back to look at me with such coldness in his eyes I actually shiver.
‘I want you off my island. I’ll arrange for the transfer yacht to pick you up in one hour.’
I can’t believe this is happening. But then, also, I can. This is exactly what I was afraid of.
