Page 47 of Good Girl
It’s pretty damn clear that it’s over between us.
‘It’s none of your business,’ he replies, confirming my fear. And then he’s gone, slamming the door behind him and leaving the apartment ringing with the shocking sound of his departure from my life.
On unsteady legs I walk back into the living room, slump down onto the nearest sofa and curl myself into a ball. My heart is racing and a heavy blanket of dread presses down over my entire body.
All the confidence that’s slowly been building in me over the last two weeks has drained away because I know now that what we had wasn’t special at all. That I wasn’t special. He was just stringing me along till he got what he wanted.
And I lost my virginity to him, even after all his warnings not to—to save it for someone I cared about, and for someone who cared about me. But I begged him to do it anyway, like the guileless sap that I am. I chose not to listen, blinded by my infatuation with him, thinking, like a total idiot, that he felt the same.
Even now I can’t quite believe it has all been a lie. It seemed so real. Felt so real. But it can’t have been, not if he’s been lying to me all this time.
He played me, like the expert player he is.
What was I thinking? I’ve been so naive, assuming I could shield my heart from him whilst blithely giving him everything else I had.
My heart thumps heavily in my chest as I realise I’ve gone and done the most stupid thing in the world.
I’ve fallen in love with him.
