Page 28 of The Trials of Neilina MacKai
“What is it that you value most?”he pled softly
“Myself.”
“I don’t understand.”
“I don’t expect you to, but that’s what love does.It clouds judgement, logic, and reason.Without those, I am nothing.Good night, my lord Rhuad.”
She swept into her chamber and shut the door firmly behind her.Leaning back against the oaken boards, she waited.What would he do?
What do I want him to do?
She heard his footsteps fading as he walked away.Whatever it was she wanted, she was fairly certain walking away wasn’t it.
Chapter Five
The Ramparts of CastleMacFearann
Morning, March 4, 1297
Rhuad had thought that walking away from Seona after their kiss was the most difficult thing he’d ever done.That achy longing was nothing compared to watching her ride away with only her cook as a companion.
The Reverend Mother had responded to Seona’s letter, albeit slowly, but with an invitation to take sanctuary at the Abbey of St.Margaret.There would be a price of course.The abbey did not have the means to support every supplicant.They took in only those who could either pay or were possessed of a useful skill.
Since, Lady MacFearann could pay and needed only temporary shelter, she was welcome, until her brother could take her to a safe place far from MacFearann lands.Reverend Mother Eadbrugh had offered to send an escort.
Seona had replied that an escort would draw too much attention from her husband.She would appreciate the abbess’s help arranging for transport from Baile Iasg village to the abbey.
All those details and more ran through Rhuad’s mind as he watched his handfasted wife disappear into the distance.He must wait three days before sending his squire to the village.Seona had estimated that was the shortest possible amount of time needed to find his mother and sister then send out a message that all was ready for the rescue.
One day after the squire left, Rhuad and his men would follow.The plan was to arrive at Baile Iasg after dusk, the better to hide the presence of an armed force from the abbey and any spies they might have in the village.
Five days would pass before he saw Seona once more.Separating from her had hurt him greatly.The fear he had for her safety during the mission she’d undertaken was greater yet.He would not be at peace until he saw her safe.He paced the ramparts.He had five days to figure out if he wanted a marriage instead of this temporary handfasting.He wished he understood what Seona had meant by saying she would lose herself, if she allowed herself to love him.The one positive point in all his worries and frustration was that she evidently believed herself capable of loving him.
Am I capable of loving her?
Love wasn’t necessary to a marriage, but he’d seen the harm a loveless match could cause in his own parents’ union.He’d been joyful at being fostered, for it gave him the chance to escape the yelling and petty cruelties his parents indulged in.He’d promised himself never to live like that.Thus, he knew he wished to love the woman he wed.No other woman had appealed to him as Seona had.
