Page 26 of The Black Lotus
Happy hunting, Aster!
“It’s a fox, right?” Serena asks as I shove the paper into my pocket.
“That would be too obvious.” I shake my head, clenching my jaw, pissed. “Plus, that wasn’t my favorite, that’s just what my mother called me.” I stride into the zoo, Serena next to me nearly jogging to keep up.
“What is your favorite animal?”
“Was. And you’ll see when we get there.”
She slows her pace, a dazed look crossing her features, but she stays silent. After my parents were taken, nothing was the same. I would rather forget my childhood than be forced to relive it like this.I will tell her everything in due time, just not when her life is on the line. Walking through the zoo takes me back to the only time I came here and the day I also vowed to never come back again.
“Aster Balcom,get back here right this instant!” I hear Ms. Crumbwell yell after me as I dart away from the group. She’s a scary lady who I would much rather avoid crossing and I’m not one to usually disobey orders, especially from Crumbwell, but since they announced we were going to the zoo, I couldn’t contain my excitement.Consequences be damned.
I’ve been in this hell hole, this joke of a home, for a year now. I was bullied for a while, but after I stabbed another kid in the leg with a pencil for knocking over my milk at lunch, the others stayed away and left me alone. I was severely punished, locked in the basement for two weeks with only bread and water for my actions. I felt no remorse;the asshole had it coming.
Although I didn’t mind the solitary, I was a growing boy and needed more food to sustain me, so I behaved after that.Running away from the one who likes to punish me the most is not going to be pretty. I should be scared, but I’m not. This is my first taste of real freedom since being sent here and I am going to soak up every moment. I don’t know when I will get the chance again.
She inflicts pain on us, but never leaves scars, ensuring there’s no proof of abuse if we were to ever be examined. But I couldn’t care less as wind whips my hair, temporarily blinding me.
I wish I could run away, find my Mommy and Daddy, but I know if I run, they’ll catch me. The fear of the punishment that would come from trying to escape is what keeps me there. I long to see my parents again, to have them teach me how to be a good killer, to be their little prodigy, but they’re locked someplace I don’t know how to get into. I miss them everyday and one day I will see them again.
I haven’t tried to escape, but one kid did and when they brought him back, his screams were heard throughout the halls. Then he was never seen again.I hope running doesn'tget me killed like him.The thought alone has me stopping dead in my tracks and running to the nearest bathroom I can find. Saying I really had to go is a good excuse to not be killed, but it won’t stop me from being punished.
I wash my hands and run back to find the group. I see them standing in front of the rhino exhibit, and Ms. Crumbwell looks less than happy.I knew this was coming.
She snatches the hood of my hoodie, no witnesses in sight. “You are going to get it when we get back home,” she seethes into my ear.
“I had to use the bathroom, and that place isn’t my home,” I say back, my tongue tainted with disgust.
“Why you!” I close my eyes when I see her hand raise, bracing for the sting of her slap, but my butt hits the ground instead. When I open my eyes to see why I hadn’t received her act of rage, I realize it’s because a family of four are walking up to the exhibit. I let out a breath of relief.
“Aster, are you okay?” she fakes sympathy, reaching for me and I smack her hand away.
“I’m fine.”
She rustles my hair and looks over at the family. “Boys are always getting hurt, I swear.”
The family looks down at me, pity filling their eyes, but instead of saying anything, they politely smile and usher their kids away. I plead with my eyes, begging with my mind for them to come back and help me, to help us all. But nothing works.No one helps. No one will ever rescue us. We will either die here or grow up to be our worst selves.I will grow up to beexactlywhat my parents wanted me to be, and one day, I will kill Crumbwell.
Crumbwell goes back to the group and walks us all around the zoo, and as much as I want to enjoy the experience,knowing what is waiting for me once we get back, makes it hard for me to focus on this experience.
The sounds of oohs and ahhs break through the gloom. Curiosity gets the better of me as I walk up to the glass to see a fluffy creature I’ve never seen before. I see three in the enclosure next to one another, huddled together like a family, before I notice one off to the side, sitting by itself and enjoying the seclusion from the others. I walk over while the others stay and watch the other three, placing my hand against the glass and watch in awe as the fluffy creature's paw mimics my action. My heart begins to race, excitement and curiosity at the forefront of my mind. It’s like it is telling me everything will be okay, to not give up. It’s like it sees me, like I’m not alone. I stand there watching the creature for what feels like forever until I hear my name yelled from a distance and reluctantly walk away, glancing back to see it’s still watching me.
We stopin front of what was once my favorite animal, the red panda, and see not only the beautiful creatures but the creepy guy from the entrance holding yet another clue.
“I wasn’t expecting this to be your favorite,” Serena wonders, walking up to the guy taking the envelope then handing it to me. I don’t open it until he walks away.
“They were a long time ago. They were the only creatures who ever saw me.”
“Oh, Aster,” Serena wraps her hands around my own, her hands shaking with how hard she’s gripping mine. “I see you.”
Bringing her hands to my lips, I kiss the back of her palms. “And I see you.”
She releases our hands and wraps her arms around my neck pulling me down for a kiss full of reassurance.
“Shall we see where we’re going next?” she asks, breaking our kiss.
Nodding my head, I open the paper for us to read together. Hesitating for a moment to get myself in the right headspace and not let my anger get the best of me.
