Page 82 of The Black Lotus
“Not being given much of a choice,” he mumbles as he sits next to me.
I grab his face with both hands, pushing his cheeks together. “You always have a choice. I think it’s time though.” I release his face and look away. “I don’t like this wall that has been built between us, since… everything.”
“Okay. Let’s talk.”
My head snaps up to meet his gentle eyes. “Really? You’re serious?”
He cradles my hands in his. “Very. And I’m sorry I built the wall after we promised to never shut the other out. I just…needed time to process before I put this weight on you too.”
“Your problems are my problems, Aster. Your burdens are mine. You are never alone, and I need you to get that in your thick skull.” I tap his head a few times to get my point across. He flinches, rubbing the spot on his head, but smiles. “I love you. Don’t shut me out.”
“I love you, too.” His lips lightly brush mine. “I was mourning my dad, but never felt that emotion before, so… I shut down.” I sit back and listen as he talks, not wanting to break his courage. “There have been so many new emotions that I have been experiencing, and I don’t know how to cope with most of them.” He rakes his fingers through his hair. “For so long I painted my father as the villain, when he was trying to be a dark knight and save me from Cynthia.” A sad laugh slips past his lips as he frowns. “After learning the truth, all I wanted was to see my father’s face. Talk to him one last time. Ask him so many questions to help me see things from his perspective, but… Now, I’ll never get the chance.” I grab his hand and squeeze it, he brings our joined hands to his lips and kisses the back of mine. “I miss him, and I’m jealous that Zephira got to speak to him and connect with him in a way I dreamed of for so long.”
He goes silent after that, his head dropping. I pull him into my chest, cradling his head as I rub his back. “We all deal with grief differently, some shut down, some act like it never happened, while others block it out completely.” He looks up at me, so much love filled in his gaze. “Most are alone. Feel like no one can understand the emotions swirling inside, but that isn’t true. When a hand reaches out to help you instead of shutting down, grab on and let them help keep you afloat.” I cup his cheek. “Yes, no one can ever truly understand, but letting that person in a little can make a difference between sinking into thedarkness and floating above it.” I wrap my arms around his neck, our mouths inches apart. “You are not alone, Aster. Let me be your liferaft, like you are mine. If you don't, you go down, and I'm going down with you.”
Our foreheads rest against the others, his eyes closing as he whispers, “Thank you, Serena.”
This is what we needed. We needed a moment to come back down from all the chaos that interrupted our lives. Lives we barely got to build together. Now that the waters are calm, we canfinallyhave a chance to get to be together. Finally have a chance to connect in the way we were denied.
I slowly get off the chaise after pecking Aster on the lips, ready to give him his surprise.
“Is it time for my surprise?” he asks, scooting to the edge of the chaise.
“It is. I’ll be right back, close your eyes. And no peeking.”
He closes his eyes and I open my kill space retrieving the items and walk back into the library, laying it all at his feet. My hands shake as I lay the final item in the middle. I take a deep breath, sitting on my knees. “Okay. Open your eyes.”
His eyes slowly flutter open, looking at me then the items, a wicked grin splitting his cheeks. “Is this for me or for you?”
I blush. “Both?”
He tackles me, my back smacking against the floor as his hand cups the back of my head. “When did you find that?” He hovers over me, his arms brace on either side of me.
“When you were kidnapped. I was looking through your things and found it. Ever since I saw the drawing, I knew I wanted your art tattooed on me.”
He leans down, his lips pressing firmly against mine, his growing erection rubbing up against me. “Like last time?” he whispers in my ear.
My beast purrs at the thought, and I let out a breathy moan. “Yes.”
He helps me to my feet, collecting everything off the floor as we walk into my kill space. The air feels lighter, the weight that was dragging us down has been tossed, and we are ready for the next step of life.
Starting it with a needle, ink, and spilling blood.
EPILOGUE 2
ZEPHIRA
Killing my own mother was harder than I thought it would be. Not the act itself and not even forcing her to eat her own flesh, but everything else. I did what I do after every kill and bathed in my victim’s blood. I steal their essence, their soul, and rub it all over my body, soaking in the last piece of them. Usually I relish in the feeling, but something about Mom’s blood made me feel gross, and I washed it down the drain the moment I stepped into it. It was a zap of instant rejection, and since then, I’ve felt numb.
After a month of sulking, I am starting to feel better, and I called my brother to meet up with him and Serena.I miss them.I’m not the kind of girl to allow anyone into my life, but being around them so much, teasing them, my walls slowly dropped without even realizing it. I like the feeling of belonging somewhere after being lost for so long. I thought I was supposed to be with my Mom and Dad, but it was the biggest lie I refused to see. I want to create my new normal, get to know my brother and Serena better, and now I can finally do that since I’m not helping threaten Serena’s life. The one thing I wish I’d never agreed to. I don’t regret meeting Serena, but I regret being my mother’s little spy for her.
I’m tapping along to the music on my steering wheel as I pull into the diner, some place called Sinister Beans. Aster said it was Serena’s favorite and that they have the best coffee, and when I heard that I couldn’t say no.
I may flirt with Serena and tease my brother about wanting to bang his girlfriend, but I would never cross that line, nor do I want to. That’s how I talk, and I know I can get Aster to lighten up when I do. Plus, it’s just fun.
The little bell on the door jingles as I walk in, and Serena excitedly jumps to her feet, her black dress flowing around her as she waves at me.
“Zephira! Over here!”
