Page 26 of The Blue Rose
My eyes stare at the word mine, not comprehending anything else. He called me that several times tonight, what does that mean exactly? Is he calling me his girlfriend? Are we dating? I hold the phone to my chest watching the blades of the fan go round and round. Why was he even there? How did he know I was going to be there?
Serena
It’s funny that you were there, were you there on a date as well?
Aster
No, I was there having a drink, You’re the only girl I want to be taking on any dates.
Serena
I’m glad you were having a drink
Aster
Me too, get some rest, little lamb, I’ll talk to you in the morning.
Serena
Goodnight, Aster.
Aster
Goodnight, little lamb.
I put my phone down and drift to sleep, waking from yet another nightmare a few hours later.
I sprint to my art room, desperate to get this feeling trapped on a canvas, painting another secret piece meant for my eyes only.
This one makes me feel more satisfied and brings me more joy than any of my previous ones, my body feeling satisfied in a way I’ve never experienced before.
I finish the painting by adding a blue rose and setting my brushes down.
Remembering the first conversation I had with Aster, I grab my phone and look up the meaning of his name, something I forgot to do two weeks ago, since he ghosted me.
When it finally loads, I smile. “Star; Flower?” That’s fitting for him somehow.
I put my phone away, grab the painting and place it to dry with my other ones.
This one feels less like a secret, and more like a reward.
I head back to my room and lay down hoping to see the red sprayed everywhere on the plastic, and hear the screams of terror. The faces I can never see in a dream, always blurred, but I can feel the euphoria it brings the person, tearing the screams from the other faceless person's throat. Almost like I was the person doing it.
TEN
ASTER
What am I doing?
I haven’t made it this far by not sticking to my rules. I made them for a reason. The moon is hanging low in the sky, and voices from the restaurant can be heard from the street. Inside I see a little family, a mother and father with their son and younger daughter. I stop to watch them through the window, wondering what my life would have been like if I had a sibling to play with growing up. Would I still be the person I am today? Would my siblings be like me? Would they have rules if they did?
After my parents got caught, I made the rules for myself that they didn’t follow. They loved to play with their lambs before the slaughter, touch, suck, fuck, all of it. They even brought some of their victims into the house before taking them to the barn. The barn that I had torn down, and built my shed in its place. After the first night I saw them kill that girl, they started to bring more victims around, men and women. Into the house for dinner and then to the barn for dessert. Every single thing they did, eventually got them caught. I don’t know the real reason behind how they were found, their files are locked tight, but I do knowthat I was never going to kill like them. Hence my rules, and it’s worked in my favor so far.
So why am I following a victim around? Defending her? Killing for her? Breaking not only one, but two rules for her. Allowing a man to taint my lamb slaughterhouse, and allowing myself to taste her. There is only one rule left to break, and I won’t break that one, she will never step foot into my home. She will never know about my rules, but I can’t help myself, there is something about her and when the time finally comes, I can’t wait to lay her on my table.
She is the first woman I have allowed myself to be with in a long time. I’m no virgin, but I don’t ever take my victims to bed. I’ve allowed myself the pleasures of being with a woman, but I prefer the pleasure of killing over sex. I have always felt that way, that was until I got a taste of my little lamb. She tasted like the fires of hell themselves, sinfully sweet and tempting, pulling me into the abyss of her forbidden cunt, drowning in flames I never want to escape. The very reason why she needs to die, I’ll treat her like I treat my other lambs, giving her what she desires after a night out, then I fulfill my own fantasies, putting her to sleep forever.
That image sends a pang to my chest, one I haven't felt before.Weird.I reach up, placing a hand over my heart, and I light up a cigarette. Happy to see that while I had my dessert, Tyler was still in his car waiting, giving me the opportunity to keep my earlier promise.
