Page 53 of The Blue Rose
The beginning of the movie starts to play and I get up, making Jess pause the movie.
“Where are you going?” she asks, the remote still suspended in the air.
I flip the covers over, a soft smile on my lips as I turn to look back at her. “To get some movie snacks, keep playing the movie, I’ll be right back.”
Handing her the snacks, I get back under the covers next to her. She passes me the Red Vines, one already hanging from her mouth, and presses play. We lay snuggled up, enjoying thecomfort of one another. Halfway through the movie, I feel my eyes drift close, letting sleep take me.
The sky turned dark, as clouds roll in, the first sign of the impending storm. I stare out at the brewing chaos from my school desk, watching the first drops pelt my window. Watching two race to reach the bottom, a quiet calm settling over me. Just as I’m about to see which will win, a voice creepily whispers in my ear.
“Whatcha watching?”
Jumping up, I yelp, whirling around to glare at Jess, “I was watching to see which raindrop was going to win the race,” I say, pointing at the window.
She looks at the window, shrugging her shoulders. “You’re so weird, Serena,” she quips, sliding onto my desk, and crossing her perfectly toned legs one over the other.
What I wouldn't give to have her legs, to have her body.The boys just flock to her, following her every demand. She says sit, they sit. She says run, they run. Hell. I’m sure if she told them to jump off of a bridge, they would do it. She is a goddess, and they are her servants. At least, that is what she calls them. Classless, but if they choose to kiss the ground she walks on, who am I to object.
She’ll crush them eventually, like she does to everyone.
Leaning down, Jess whispers in my ear, “I heard Tony was going to ask you to prom.”
Peeling my eyes from the rain, I look over at her, my pulse quickening, and my mouth hangs open in utter silence.There is no way the star quarterback is asking me to the prom.He is obsessed with Jess, as are all men. I thought to him, to everyone, I was just her sidekick. The girl she is friends with just to make herself seem nicer than she is. That is what everyone snickers about anytime they see us together. It is all they have said since we were kids, and it’s only gotten worsesince highschool. Me gaining more weight, and less confidence. Jessica getting prettier, and more cruel. It has to be a lie. There is no way Tony is actually into me.
Jess places two fingers under my chin, shutting my mouth, then turning around to jump off the desk. “I know, I was just as shocked as you.” She looks back over her shoulder as she walks away. “I thought he was another one of my servants, turns out he has the hots for my best friend.”
She turns around and slams her palms onto my desk, making me jump once again. “You know what that means, right?” She asks, jealousy dripping off her tongue. I shake my head slowly, confused at her anger. She clicks her tongue, leaning in close, and says, “I was wrong, and you know I’mneverwrong. How could I be wrong about Tony, of all people?” She places her hands behind her back, and paces around looking at me up and down as if I’m nothing more than something to study under a lens.
“I’m pretty sure it’s just a rumor, Jess,” I say, digging my nails into my palms, making her pacing stop. “There is no way the star quarterback is into me.” I hate having to comfort her when she already has the whole school at her mercy. If I don’t show my indifference to such a big comment, she will make this whole situation worse. So, I bite my tongue and give her what she wants. My insecurities.
“You’re probably right,” she says, plopping into the seat next to me.
Ouch. That hurt.I shift in my seat, feeling uncomfortable with her so worked up.
She turns, a cocky smile lifting her cheeks. “But just in case you’re wrong, which you usually are, we need to get you looking better than,” she motions to my outfit, her lip curling. “Than that.”
I look down at my clothes, pulling at my band tee, and my torn up blue jeans. They’re comfy, and this was the concert we went totogetherlast month.
“What’s wrong with what I’m wearing?” I ask, leveling my eyes with hers.
“Only everything, if you’re going to say yes to Tony asking you to prom, you can’t look like, well, you.”
I should be used to her insults, the words she claims aren’t meant to hurt the way they do, by now, especially given how long we’ve been friends, but I’m not. Each word she throws my way is always laced in venom, and it stings just the same.
I turn my back on her, blinking back the tears I feel threatening to fall.I will not cry. Her words are just that. Words, I have the power to let them hurt me or fall off me. I know from experience if I don’t seem upset after she insults me, the next words leaving her lips will be even worse than the first, so I always make myself seem hurt and upset, even if I lie to myself and say they don’t, which makes her back off. That is just how she is. She is the only friend I have, so I take it.
I don't want to be alone.
I hear her mirror snap shut, the smacking of her lips as she checks her lipstick. She places a hand on my shoulder, and sighs, “Serena, you know I love you, and I don’t want to upset you, but you know I’ll never lie to you either.”
Before turning around I sniffle and wipe my eyes. When our eyes lock, I see the glint in hers, the happiness my pain brings her, just for a second, before she pretends to be concerned.
“I know, Jess, I love you, too.” I force myself to say the last three words. If I don’t, things will get ugly fast.
She claps her hands and jumps out of her seat. “Great! Meet me at my house after school.” She starts to walk away, but stops at the door and shouts so everyone else in the class can hear. “Bring your clothes! You know mine don’t fit you. Don'tworry, we will give you the makeover you need. Tootles.” I shrink down into my seat, feeling all the eyes on me, and this time I do cry.
Walking up the steps to Jess’s house, my hand tightens around the bag of clothes, I brace my knuckles against the door, and on the third knock I’m yanked inside by an over eager Jessica.
“Stop dragging your fat feet, Serena and move! We don’t have much time, I have plans after this with Toby, but I made time for you,” Jess says, dragging me to her room and slamming us inside.
