Page 13 of Goblins Don't Count
He leaned closer, peered into my eyes, and said, “Go shopping for a wardrobe that looks good with green.”
“I’m not turning into a goblin,” I snapped.
He raised his hands and edged towards the door. “Sure you aren’t. Magga wouldn’t ever turn humans into goblins and enslave them, using them like your coven uses the weaker members to feed her spells, either. I’ll see you Thursday.” He winked and ducked out of my office before I could throw a stapler at him.
I put it down decisively, shaking my head. What was wrong with me? I didn’t let anyone get to me, but Sashimi, apparently, knew exactly how to make people want to kill him. I’d really been this close to hurling the stapler at his head.
What if he was right? What if I was turning into a goblin? Becoming that cranky old lady’s slave wasn’t going to happen. We weren’t in the old country, wherever she’d come from. Still, I needed to talk to my mom about it. I could hide my work here from her, but big magic? No. She’d kill me if I turned into some goblin slave and didn’t tell her about it. Also the raccoon.
I got out my phone and called her.
“Cat’s Pause. What do you want?”
I spoke as fast as possible. “Hey, mom. It’s Rynne. The other day, Thursday, I ran into a goblin at the train station, and she had me walk her down to goblin town. On the way, she drained me of my energy, but someone said that she may have turned me into a goblin, or I’m in the process of becoming a goblin, something like that. So, I just thought you should know. Gotta go now. I’ve got to change my shirt. Oh! I have a raccoon in my apartment. You know, because I have a strong affinity with wild creatures.”
She sighed so deeply. I winced, and kept wincing because it went on and on and on. She finally said, “I will ask for information about this goblin infection. You will come with me to the next coven meeting.”
“Yeah. I was going to come anyway. I thought I might meet a guy.”
She snorted. “I’m sure. You brought home a raccoon instead of a man. I know how you’ll be with any male witch who looks at you twice. Like the time you wrestled with Pete and dislocated his shoulder, or the time you started talking law with Ivan and made him look like a complete imbecile in front of everyone, or the time…”
“Yes, mother, exactly like that, only without me being so aggressively powerful.”
“You have a reputation, Rynne. Every male there will avoid you. You made sure of that.”
I sighed, but quietly so she wouldn’t hear. “Fine, then I’ll start dating other kinds of people. Humans, and angels. You know, nice men who don’t need to have their precious egos carefully protected.”
Her mocking sniff did not give me a feeling of confidence. “I’m sure you’ve already exhausted all the possibilities at the courthouse. What was that I heard about the judge killing himself? What do you know about that? Is that why you had to rush to work yesterday?”
“Yes, actually. I had to do an interview for the police.” That was almost true.
“Do they think you were involved?”
“No, just about his character, you know, trying to figure out why he’d commit suicide.” If it was suicide.
“I take it you’ll be coming home late. At least you’re in a good neighborhood over there. I’ve got to get to the kitchen. Be careful.”
She hung up, leaving me feeling super excited to rewrite the report to match the story someone had already spread about the judge’s death.
Nope. That feeling of powerless futility stayed with me, growing with every word I changed to make more, ‘unbiased.’ I couldn’t write that it was a suicide, but I did find a few instances where my own interpretations were leaning. After that, I got to do the paperwork about the pixie dust dealer we’d lost thanks to my stepping into the goblin mess.
Finally, I finished up, submitted it, and stood. It was late, and I really wanted to get to my car before it got dark. If the light out my tiny window was any indication, I’d barely make it if I rushed.
So I rushed. When I reached my car, I stopped when I saw the winged guy with glowing red eyes who had been half of the couple in the doorway that morning.
“You’re sitting on my car,” I said, reaching into my bag for my taser.
He smiled, showing white teeth with a few extra fangs. “I’m leaning against it. I didn’t want to miss you. Everyone knows your comings and goings. The pretty little officer who dresses like a lawyer.”
“Does everyone? How splendid. You should know that I’m about to drive away, then. So you shouldn’t be leaning on my car.”
He shrugged helplessly. He was wearing more clothing now than earlier, but his red-hued bare chest was showing beneath his leather jacket. “I didn’t want to miss you.”
I glanced around quickly, making sure this wasn’t a set-up, but we seemed to be alone. “Do you have a crime you’d like to report? Maybe you feel like the lady from earlier was taking advantage of you.”
He smirked. “Lady? That’s amusing. You are amusing and delightful. I’d like to get to know you better.”
I stared at him. He stared back. We stood there staring for a good thirty seconds before I shook my head. “I’m sorry. What do you mean by that?”
