Page 86 of Every Broken Promise
“That’s it, you’re leaving?” My tone came out more bitter than I had intended.
“Where are my car keys?”
I shook my head, and then I fixed my pants.
“They’re inside the car.”
She walked around to the driver’s side.
“Um, thanks for everything.”
Because I couldn’t help myself, I bit back, “Is that for the oil change or the sex?”
At that, she snapped her head up and glared at me. If my dick weren’t so spent, it would have twitched.
“Thanks for the oil change.”
“So, you didn’t like the?—”
“You know it was good. We don’t have to make a big deal out of this. People have one-night stands all the time.”
At that, I scowled.
We were not a one-time thing.
Astrid didn’t see my expression because she practically sprinted to where the button to lift the bay was and then back to her car.
I had half a mind to chase after her as I watched her drive away. Astrid may have lost all faith in us, but I never had.
THIRTY-ONE
Sex changed relationships.
This was the second time my relationship with Ty had been changed by sex—and the first time, he didn’t even sleep with me. Him having sex caused a domino effect on our friendship. Now, I knew firsthand what it felt like to have sex with him—and it was out of this world. It was the best sex I had ever had, bar none. And I couldn’t help but think of every single moment we spent together and wonder how the hell we ended up like this. At this point I felt like a broken record who couldn’t even function anymore.
I didn’t lose my virginity until college. How could I when I was pining for my best friend all through high school? Guys never asked me out while I had been in Willow Grove High. Why would they when Ty and his brothers were always with me? I wasn’t the type of girl who was worth the effort.
It wasn’t until Ty started to date Samantha that the strain in our relationship became more obvious. When he had gone out with Liz it had been okay. It was his first girlfriend, so I gave him space, especially because I knew no girl wanted their third wheel to be a guy’s best girl friend. Tyler did not like this. He managed to make time for both his friendship and his new girlfriend. Butbetween that and work, things with him and Liz quickly fizzled out.
After that, our friendship went back to normal, or as normal as it could be with me pining after him.
Despite the fact that Tyler’s relationship was short-lived, it did send a message to other girls that he was open to dating and that I was clearly in the friend zone.
I don’t know what was more pathetic, watching countless girls throw themselves at him at parties and at school or the fact that I was jealous because I could never be one of the girls vying for his attention.
I had his attention, just not in the way I wanted it.
Then Samantha came into the picture. She was everything I could never be. She was the girl all the guys wanted. She was sensual, dressed in a way my mother wouldn’t allow me to dress, and made everything she said seem flirty. If any of that wasn’t intimidating enough, I knew she had experience with sex.
Tyler having his first girlfriend hurt, but after a while, I got used to the sting of the pain, and I was okay. With dating came kissing and holding hands, doing all those things couples do—things he would never do with me. I thought I had a grasp on things, but one day I saw them kissing. In all honesty, I should have been ready for it. They had been together for a few weeks, and I guess I had deluded myself that they barely did it, but once I came down from class in a different hallway I caught them making out. All my mental preparation was for naught because I felt like someone had kicked me in the gut. My eyes started to water, and there was a sudden ache in my heart. Knowing they would do that was one thing, but seeing it was another. It cemented the fact that he was having all these intimate experiences with someone who wasn’t me—he didn’t want them with me.
Sam made her thoughts of me clear from the beginning. She would shoot sly little jabs at my expense. She started to go visit him at work, and there was no way I would try to insert myself into their relationship. Little by little, I started to feel less like a friend and more like a pest.
I had a new role in Tyler’s life, and I needed to learn to accept it or risk losing him forever. By that point, I was content to have him in my life at any capacity I could get him. Shortly after homecoming, I got the news that he and Sam had done it. I mean, I should have expected it to happen and not let myself be taken by surprise. Sam made sure to tell her posse when she knew I was in hearing distance. She wanted me to know.
The pain from the information was wrapped in layers that even sounded silly to my own ears. Sam was his first. She would be someone he would always remember, despite time passing and people moving on. I was his first in a lot of childhood memories. Trivial things that you lost over time, but sex was huge, and it was a first he would never have with me. The pain of falling for your best friend was such a double-edged sword because a part of me was also upset that he didn’t tell me this of his own accord.
What was the point of being best friends if there was no honesty? I was glad he didn’t tell me, or I might have cried in front of him, but I was upset by it, too.
