Page 112 of Every Broken Promise
“At one point, my whole graduating class hated me.” I shrugged it off like it wasn’t a big deal. Like that single event didn’t alter my brain chemistry. “Now, I could either let their opinion of me run me off, or I could be brave and not let their bullshit and their opinions bother me.”
It was at that moment where I realized one single act was still defining me. I refused to invest myself fully in this town. I kept to where I felt safe, the places I knew no one would disrupt the bubble walls I had surrounded myself with, and the moment that got threatened, I ran.
I didn’t want to run anymore.
“What happened?” Rach asked.
This was it, wasn’t it? My moment to be brave. It was past the time that I opened the can of worms that had been infesting me since leaving this town.
While I found the words to say, I headed for her coffee station and made myself a latte.
“It was teenager stuff. Something got out of hand, and I believed I did the right thing, but everyone started to call me a snitch, and the rest was history.”
“Is that why you don’t talk to Ty?” she asked instead of pressing me for more.
I turned around, and a bittersweet smile coated my lips.
“Ty used to be my best friend.” I tried to shrug it off because I had never talked about it all out loud, and even if it was getting better, it still stung.
“Sure, I had a crush on him—nearly every girl in our grade did—but I never interfered with any of his girlfriends or was that friend that tried to get him to pick our friendship over them. Senior prom was when everything changed. His girlfriend at the time didn’t like me at all.”
I took a deep breath before I could continue.
“She was a bit of a low blow for me. I realized I had feelings for Ty when I was in eighth grade, and I remember thinking back then that if I looked more like her, he would notice me… Fast-forward to high school. She’s not only someone I kept comparing myself to, but she was taking all the firsts I had once imagined having with him.”
I had to pause to take another deep breath because the last thing I wanted was to start bawling like a baby.
“Prom night was one of the first nights I felt like I was coming into my own skin. My best friend had always been a guy. I didn’t know much about makeup or fashion trends, but that day I felt beautiful… I might not have gone with the person I wanted to go with, but I didn’t let that ruin my night.”
I took a sip of my coffee as I recalled all the details. I told myself I would let them hurt me one last time, and then I would put them to rest.
“What happened?” Rachel’s voice was soft.
“A guy who got peered-pressured into drinking because he wanted to fit in ended up having an allergic reaction…his face immediately got red and splotchy, then it began to swell.”
I could hear Rachel’s sharp intake of breath.
“My first reaction was to call for help.”
“Prom got ruined, didn’t it?” Rach guessed.
I looked down at the floor and nodded.
“Ty’s girlfriend got pissed and started calling me a snitch. She said I ruined prom because I was jealous that I didn’t get to go with her boyfriend. Everyone turned against me for ruining prom. I remember Ty not saying anything, just taking his girlfriend’s hand and leading her away. Then the cops got there, and they shut everything down. We were lucky they didn’t fine us for underage drinking. I guess they felt pity for us since our special night was already ruined.”
“You wanted Tyler to stand up for you?” Rachel’s question was rhetorical, and all I could do was nod.
“Ty was my friend, and I thought he’d at least stand up for me, but he didn’t say anything, and to me, that was him picking a side, and it wasn’t mine,” I whispered, letting it cut me open one last time.
There was a pregnant pause for a while until Rachel broke the silence.
“He notices you,” Rach said. “You walk into a room, and all Tyler can see is you.”
I gave Rachel a small smile. This was about her, it was not the time for me to be telling her I felt the same way about Ty.
“Your turn,” I said, tipping my coffee toward her.
It was my turn to keep it together while she broke apart this time.
