Page 6 of The Surrogate Mother
“Is everything okay?” I ask him, even though I would bet the farm it’s not.
He glances around the room, his ears turning red. “Abby, could we talk? Outside?”
The room goes instantly silent. This is really bad. I don’t know what he’s going to say to me and I don’t want to know. I want to live in five minutes ago—when I was having a (relatively) great time at my first and only baby shower. Before my husband showed up and everything fell apart.
3
Sam takes my hand the second I join him at the door. His warm, large hand envelopes mine, and he pulls me down the hallway, past a large leafy plant and the water cooler.
“Sam,” I say. “What’s going on?”
“Let’s talk in your office.”
I pull my hand away from his and grab his elbow, yanking him into the nook by the copy machine. “No, let’s talkhere.”
“Okay, but…” His eyes dart around. “Maybe we should get you a chair…”
He wants me to be sitting. Oh God. I think I’m going to throw up.
“Sam,” I say as patiently as I can. “Will you tell me what the hell is going on?”
Sam focuses his brown eyes back on my face. A deep crease forms between his eyebrows. “Janelle pulled out.”
“What?”
“I just got the call from Steve.” He rakes a hand throughhis light brown hair—his fingers are shaking. “He said Janelle changed her mind. She wants to keep the baby.”
“What?”
My legs feel rubbery. Sam was right—we should have gone to my office. Or I should have held out for a chair.
“Something about how her mother is going to help her or… I don’t know.” He sighs. “It all amounts to the same thing. She’s keeping him.”
“Is… is she allowed to do that?” I sputter. “Our contract says…”
“She’s allowed to back out.” Sam shuts his eyes for a moment, then when he opens them again, I notice for the first time they’re slightly bloodshot. “We can’t fight her in court for her baby. We’d never win.”
I’m starting to get tunnel vision. The whole world is disappearing and all I can see is Sam’s face in front of me. A lump forms in my throat, and I know I’m seconds away from bursting into tears.
“Abby?” His voice sounds far away. “Are… are you okay?”
“No,” I whisper. “I’m not.”
I fall into his arms, and even though there are still some people in their cubicles who could probably see us, I let the tears fall. Maybe “let” is the wrong word. I’m helpless to stop these tears.
At least Sam is here. When he got the news, he was all alone. I can’t imagine what that must have been like for him. He wanted this baby as badly as I did. I can see in his eyes how devastated he is.
“I’ll drive you home, okay?” he says. “I’ve got the car.”
Home. Where the nursery is all set up for the baby we’re not going to get. How can we go back there? I can’t bear it. Also…
“The baby shower…” The thought of going back to the room with the giant diaper cake is like being stabbed in the chest. “I need to tell them.”
“I’ll talk to them,” he says. “You wait here.”
Sam is such a wonderful husband.
It’s all my fault we can’t get pregnant.He’snormal. Perfect sperm. All-star sperm. I’m the defective one.
