Page 99 of Vow of Vengeance
"I think you'll get it someday. But there's beauty in resilience... in putting something back together when others would have thrown it away. Kintsugi celebrates that. Why throw away the vase I love when I can repair it and continue to love it for years to come?"
I laugh to myself, because she had, of course, been right. It didn't make sense then, but I get it now. There is beauty in defiance, in resilience, in picking yourself back up and arranging the pieces to fit again. It's what she did, what I watched her do every day as she struggled to move forward, to grow and heal after my sister's death. It's what Declan did, when he came along and picked up the pieces I'd arranged. It's what I'm doing now, choosing to live a life as his wife, a mother to his child.
I am Kintsugi... and so is Declan, Marissa, Wes, and Violet. There's something oddly therapeutic about the revelation.
Declan Evers planned to destroy me; instead, he chose to love me.
And for that, I'm going to love him back... even on the days I don't love myself.
Epilogue- Declan
Iwatchmywifewringing droplets of water from her hair, her back arched like she's posing for a sports magazine. She's fucking glorious, now more than ever.
I loved her pregnant, swollen with my child, but the exhaustion took away so much of her energy toward the end. But now? The weight she gained during pregnancy has stuck around in all the right places, and it's only served to make her more addictive than she was when I first fell for her. The sharp edges are gone between us, and when she holds our child, I wonder what hell I will have to suffer in my next life for having known such sweet heaven this time. It doesn’t matter. I’d spend an eternity in hell just for another day like this one, with her and our child.
Truly, I don't know how I got so lucky.
The turquoise water glitters around them as she swirls our son through the water, his head tossed back as a continuous stream of giggles escape him. She's been doing this for the last half hour, and I know her arms must be aching, but the sound of his joy isclearly worth it. I offered to take over, but I honestly think she's having as much fun as him. Besides, I'm enjoying the view.
"What time is it?" Soren turns to me, glancing up to where I am lying on my side on the deck, one hand under my head and the other in the water as I watch them.
A quick glance upward tells me it's afternoon, later than we intended to stay out. "Definitely nap time."
A grin splits her face, but she tries to hide it with a roll of her eyes. "Youwouldwant it to be nap time." She chuckles, lifting Kaisen out of the water for me to take.
I push up and take him, pulling him close to press a kiss on his forehead, as he chomps on his finger and grins back at me.
"Ready for some lunch and a nap?" I ask him, pushing the excitement into my voice that he already got from splashing around in the water with his mother. I reach out a hand to help her as she climbs onto the back of the boat, too. I press a kiss to her forehead, breathe her in, the smell of the sunscreen waking my hunger for her more.
I never realized coconut was an aphrodisiac, but every time I catch a whiff of that sunscreen causing water to bead on her skin, I feel feral. Soren knowsexactlyhow I feel because I've been jumping her bones every day, multiple times a day. And who could blame me when she looks like that and tastes so fucking sweet?
"Kaisen needs his lunch first, right buddy?"
My eyes track to her breasts, full and firm, the veins straining under her fair skin, and I groan. That's the only drawback we've had since becoming parents, my only complaint. I've lost the right to touch her breasts at all, unless I'm massaging them, in which case I have been strictly forbidden to go near her nipples. I understand that the stimulation is too much, that I don't want to cause her to leak, that it's uncomfortable for her. And I'm willing to wait as long as it takes for her to be ready for me to touchthem again. In the meanwhile, she's opened up to me more fully, including opening other parts of her body. Turns out, anal sex can be fun forbothof us when we do it right.
I usher them to walk ahead of me, so that I can wrap my arm around her waist as we head to the galley.
"Ah!" Marguerite smiles brightly as we step inside, reaching her arms out for Kaisen, who happily goes to her.
"Traitor." I mutter, watching him grin at her like she's his favorite person. Obviously, she's not. Kaisen is a momma's boy, and I don't blame him even the slightest for it. With a mother like the one he's got, how can you not adore her?
I told Soren from early on that I could give her the world if she'd just let me, and I've made good on that promise.
Sitting around the penthouse with a newborn wasn't doing any of us any good once Marissa left to follow Wes and Violet wherever they went. I could tell that Soren was willing to support her best friend however she needed, but staying in that town was too hard on Marissa, and saying goodbye was too hard on Soren.
They still talk as often as they can, but once I convinced my wife that we didn't need to be tied to a place that had nothing left for us, we went for it. In the nine months since, we've been to Greece, Malta, Turkey, and now Croatia. We're heading back to the United States by plane in a few weeks to celebrate Kaisen's first birthday with friends (a month late because we spent his actual birthday unplugged in the islands), and we've met new ones in the time we've been cruising.
Nature seems to have been almost as healing as therapy for my wife, who seems to be better each day. A large part of that, I'm sure, is finally fulfilling her dream of becoming a mother.
Another part of that is probably laying to rest the baby she lost... a baby that was conceived of something cruel, but that she would have loved every bit as much as she loves ours. We namedit after her sister, Ashlynn, and I bought a memorial for her in the same cemetery Soren's mother is in so that she has a place to go, proof that that life was there, that it existed, and that it mattered.
"You're ready to eat then, little man?" Marguerite asks, tickling his belly and making him giggle as she carries him to the highchair.
"You've got him, right Marguerite?" Soren asks, the hint of anxiety in her voice just barely noticeable.
Georgia, the therapist, insisted that we needed a nanny, much to Soren's immense displeasure. She ranted that it felt invalidating, cried that she didn't want to share our child with a stranger, and then finally one night, after weeks of distress about it, she admitted she was worried we'd hire a nanny, and I'd cheat on her with someone younger or more beautiful.
I still can't convince her thereisno one more beautiful, and I can't be mad at her for being scared I'll cheat on her even thoughIknow I would never. I don't care for other women... they just don't matter to me, because Soren and Kaisen are all that do. They're everything to me, and I'd never jeopardize them even if I wasn't completely obsessed with my wife.
