Page 20 of Vow of Vengeance
Above the lights, the night is inky and blue. It looks like velvet, dotted with stars that shine so bright I almost have to squint to avoid their intensity.
Everything hurts.
I take the smallest breath I can, trying to avoid the agony of breathing too deeply. It doesn't help. I still feel like I'm being crushed.
But my heart isn't slamming frantically in my chest anymore. The blood isn't rushing in my ears anymore.
And the pain is gone, too.
Finally, I take a clear breath, unburdened by the pain or the heaviness.
Finally, it's peaceful.
eleven
Declan
I'vegivenherasmuch space as I can tolerate, which is to say that I'm trying. I'm not succeeding. But then, I don't trust her right now. I did what I set out to do, and I destroyed her. Maybe more than she was destroyed before I ever met her. And now it's my responsibility to fix everything, to put her back together better than before, to take all of her broken pieces and make a mosaic of her.
This is the daunting part... the part I've never done. It's easy to break someone down, even when you're not trying. But how do you put them back together?
You love them through it.
It sounds so simple, but I've never done it. I tried to love my mother through her cancer, but I don't think I got it right. I was too focused on trying everything I could to save her to try and help her appreciate her final moments on Earth. Pretty sure I fucked that up with my mother, considering in the end, I failed anyway. She died, leaving me with nothing but anger, resentment, and the hollow feeling every time I glanced at the numbers in my bank account.
It's been weeks since I made Soren watch those videos of her husband raping other women. She retreated into herself, disappearing in her mind so that nothing I did could lure her out. I would have kept her there, in the prison of my company, if I could have. But Dimitri gave me a courtesy call to let me know he was on his way back, having secured both of the missing girls.
I didn't want to be there when he returned. Moreover, I didn't want Soren there when he returned. Letting me have free reign of their space was nice, but I don't yet trust any of them. I sure as hell don't trust them with the most precious thing in my life.
My cock aches from abstaining so long, desperate for her. My hand has been my only friend as she dodges my advances, and after what we witnessed, I can't bring myself to put my dick near her when she doesn't want me. I just have tomakeher want me.
She's shown up to work sporadically, no longer holding fast to the illusion of perfection she put on before. Some days her hair is loose and messy, and I want to run my fingers through it while I fuck her on my desk. Other days, she comes in with a coffee stain on her dress because she spilled it on her way in. Some days, she doesn't come in at all, not granting me the courtesy of a call to let me know that she's feeling unwell.
It's on the fourth time that she does that, the second in a row, as I'm watching the rest of them tittering about that I grab my keys and decide enough is enough. I've watched her from the cameras I had installed in all the time we've been apart, ensuring she's been safe. She hasn't done a whole lot... anyone who watched her would probably conclude she's depressed, stuck in her own head. But she brought color back into my world, so now I will do the same for her.
My calls go unanswered on the way over, and she doesn't answer when I knock. It was only a courtesy warning anyway. She doesn't stir from the couch, where she's wrapped up in ablanket. I slide my key into the lock and let myself in, taking note of the things I didn't notice on the surveillance cameras.
Her facade is well and truly shattered.
The kitchen is no longer pristine— coffee mugs litter the countertop, and a bottle of creamer sits next to the sink with a ring around it from a spill she didn't yet clean. Only Soren would still consume coffee like a caffeine addict and then return to the throes of her depression. I wonder if caffeine even has an effect on her anymore.
I skirt the mess of shoes and clothing that litter the floor, where she's been kicking her shoes off and peeling her clothing from her body when she gets home. It leads a trail to the couch, where I find her with the blanket pulled over her head. The TV is off, and the remote is on the other side of the room. Her phone lays facedown on the ground.
"Come out, come out, little bird." I cajole, trying to get her to greet me of her own volition. She doesn't budge, not even making a sound of irritation with me.
"Ren..." I pull the blanket from her face, and she recoils like a vampire in the light that filters in. "It's time to rejoin the world."
"No." She groans, shaking her head. I haven't yet gotten a look at her face, as it's covered by messy strands of her dark hair. I blow on it gently, teasing back the strands so that I can see her properly.
Dark circles highlight the gaunt look of her cheeks, and her eyes are flat. She's a beautiful disaster, and I can't help smiling.
"Hey there, little bird." She grunts her dissent, but it's gonna take a lot more than that to deter me. "The world misses you. Time to come back out, baby."
She blinks at me, her eyebrows pulling together a little with confusion.
"The world will get on just fine without me."
"Lie." I huff. "That fucking paper I bought is in shambles. I don't know how to edit a newspaper. I thought print media was dying?"
