Page 46 of Promise of Destruction
I know he's already seen me naked, thanks to spying on me in my fucking bathtub, but it doesn't stop me from making him turn and face the wall when I undress as fast as I can, in a hurry to slip into the paper gown before he can turn around and get a peep show.
The only good that can possibly come from this scenario is that seeing me like this will without a doubt kill any of the sexual desire he has for me. This awful paper gown is hideous; it makes everything feel so much worse, but I suppose it's better than just draping me with a cloth.
I sit down before I allow him to turn back around, and I refuse to meet his gaze as he slinks into a seat, looking as uncomfortable as I feel. Serves him right.
The open back of the gown leaves the cool air to lick at my spine, but a shiver presses between my shoulders and I realize his eyes are on me. I straighten, hiding my back, and glare at him in silence as we wait for the doctor to come in.
I will never emotionally recover from this humiliation, which I'm sure is exactly what he wanted.
God, I should have just sucked it up and come back here alone.
I stare at the ground, unable to bring myself to look at the pictures on the walls, the instruments set up on the counter. I can feel an impending panic attack just below the surface, and I don't want to give him that.
I nearly jump off the table when the doctor walks in, smiling like we're old friends.
"Soren?" She extends her hand to me, as if this is a fucking business meeting, and I take it because what the hell else am I going to do? "I'm Doctor Kane. You can call me Leah. How are you feeling today?"
"Pissed." I snap, before I can control myself. My fight or flight has been triggered, and I don't even know why.
"I'm sorry to hear that." She frowns. "Is there anything I can do for you?"
"Just make it quick." I grumble, hating myself now for being mean to a doctor who genuinely seems like she wants to help.
"I can do that." She nods, her brown ponytail bobbing. "But before we get into the examination, I want to talk, if that's okay?"
Talk?
I stare at her, which she takes as permission to carry on.
"Many of my patients have come to me with a history of sexual abuse or violence. They may feel unsafe or confused during this process. As a survivor myself, I like to take the time to explainwhat tests I'm going to do. I'll warn you before you feel any touch. Are you comfortable with your partner in here during the exam?"
Her eyes don't leave me, but I assume it's Declan she's referring to.
"He's not my partner." I rush out, and her eyebrows shoot up in concern. Her eyes slide to Declan, and I wonder what excuses her brain makes up for his presence before I clear my throat. "But I want him here... please."
"Okay." She nods slowly, watching Declan warily before her eyes flick back to me. "Are you comfortable discussing the information from your medical history form with him in the room?"
Something about the way she phrases it makes me think she's intentionally giving me an out, and I'm not too proud to take it.
"No." I say firmly. "I don't want to discuss anything I wrote in there."
Full-stop.
I don't want to discuss it with her, and Idefinitelydon't want to discuss it in front of Declan.
"Okay." She nods again and then begins to wash her hands with her back to me.
When I watch her snap on the gloves, I decide I'm going to make Declan Evers pay for this humiliation if it's the last thing I do.
I feel dirty when I leave the office. I don't even fight with Declan to take me back to grab my car before taking me home.
He tries to make a joke about stopping for ice cream, but I ignore him, giving him the silent treatment. It's childish, but I can't think of anything to say to him.
Doctor Kane was actually pretty incredible, and I felt stupid for snapping at her by the time I walked out of her office, but it didn't negate the ambush.
Fortunately, she's well trained, double board certified, she explained, which is why she was able to do everything in one sweep rather than sending me off to a general practitioner for bloodwork and questioning. Declan was right in saying that I didn’t have a physical on record. I haven’t seen a doctor for a general check up since before my grandmother died.
Vin’s job didn’t exactly come with a health insurance plan, so anytime we needed something, we just called a friend and he’d get us the prescription we needed. They’d assured me at the time it was all perfectly legal and above board. It’s stupid to have to go to a doctor anyway when you know you just need antibiotics, so the same logic extended toward everything else.
