Page 54 of Irish Rebel
“No.” She took another breath, ordered herself to relax. “I’m sure everything will be fine.” She’d make sure of it, she told herself. One way or the other. “I’ll feel better when things are under control, that’s all.”
She worked it out. She felt better when she had a situation defined and a goal in mind. This one wasn’t really so complicated, after all. She wanted Brian. She was fairly certain she was in love with him. Being certain of that would take a little more time, she imagined, a little more consideration.
After all this was new territory and needed to be approached with caution and preparation.
But her feelings for him were strong, and not as one-dimensional as simple attraction.
If it was love, then she needed to make him fall in love with her. She was perfectly willing to work toward what she wanted, as long as she got it in the end.
Pleasantly tired after a long day’s work, she gave her horses their evening meal. There was no question about it, she decided. Having her mother help had taken a huge burden of time and effort off her shoulders.
Was it stubbornness, she wondered, that caused her to pull back from a helping hand so often? She didn’t think so. But it was something nearly as mulish. She wanted the people she loved and who loved her to be proud of her. And she equated that, foolishly, she admitted, with the need to be perfect.
But she preferred thinking of it as taking responsibility.
Just as she was doing now with Brian, she mused. If she was in love with him, she was responsible for her own feelings. And it was up to her to try to generate those same feelings in him.
If she failed... No, she wouldn’t consider that. Once you considered failure you were one step farther away from success.
Moving into the gelding’s box, she hung his hay bag and measured out his feed. “It’s better tonight, isn’t it?” Gently she checked the swelling on his knee. When she heard the footsteps heading down on concrete, she smiled to herself.
“You’re feeding him?” Brian stepped into the box. “I couldn’t get up here any sooner.”
“That’s all right. He took the drenching without a quibble. And you can take my word for it, it worked.” She straightened up, smiled. “You can see by the way he’s eating, he’s feeling better.”
“Knows he’s fallen into roses, he does.” Brian examined the injury himself, nodded. “We have a stallion with the strangles, which is what held me up.”
“Delicate creatures, aren’t they?” She ran her hand over the gelding’s withers. “Deceptive. The size of them, the speed and strength. It all shouts power. But under it all, there’s the delicacy. You can be fooled by looking at something—at the face, at the form—and judging it without knowing what’s inside.”
“True enough.”
“I’m not delicate, Brian. I have iron bred in me.”
He looked at her. “I know you’re strong, Keeley. And still, you’ve skin like a rosebud.” Gently he ran his thumb over her cheek. “I have big hands, and they’re hard, so I need to take care. It doesn’t mean I think you’re weak.”
“All right.”
He turned back to the horse. “Have you named him?”
“As a matter of fact, I have. We had a dog when I was a girl. My mother found him, a very homely stray who started sneaking up to the house. She fed him, gained his confidence. And before my father knew it, he had a big, sloppy mutt on his hands. His name was Finnegan.” She laid her cheek on the gelding’s, rubbed. “And so now, is his.”
“You’ve a sentimental streak along with that iron, Keeley.”
“Yes, I do. And a latent romantic one.”
“Is that so?” he murmured, a little surprised when she turned and ran her hands up his chest.
“Apparently. I didn’t thank you for riding to my rescue last night.”
“I don’t recall riding anywhere.” His lips twitched as she backed him out of the box.
“In a manner of speaking. You cut a bully down to size for me. I was upset and worried about the gelding, so I didn’t really think about it at the time. But I did later, and I wanted to thank you.”
“Well, you’re welcome.”
“I haven’t finished thanking you.” She bit lightly on his bottom lip, heard his quick indrawn breath.
“If that’s what you have in mind, you could finish thanking me up in my bedroom.”
