Page 69 of Irish Rose
The bell sounded, and for the next two minutes she didn’t take her eyes off the screen. It seemed to her that Double Bluff was running with a vengeance. And perhaps he was. Perhaps Burke had transformed some of his emotions to the horse, for the colt ran like fury.
When he broke from the pack early, Erin held her breath. It was too soon. She knew the jockey had been instructed to hold him back the first half mile. There was no holding back today. Her first concern evaporated in pure excitement as she watched him run. He was glorious, angry and unstoppable. It was as if the horse himself wanted vindication and perhaps revenge.
He clung to the rail, taking the turns hard and close. Travis’s Apollo held back by a length. The Pentel colt, under a new rider, was coming up fast on the outside. And the crowd was on its feet. Erin was shouting, but was unaware of it even after the nurse came in.
As he came down the backstretch he poured on more speed, impossibly more, so that even the announcer’s voice cracked with excitement. Two lengths, then three, then three and a half. He went under the wire as if he were alone on the oval.
“He never gave up the lead.” Erin brushed her palms over her cheeks to dry them. “Not once.”
“Congratulations, Mrs. Logan. I’d say you’ve just had some of the best medicine on the market.”
“The very best.” But her fingers curled into the sheets as she waited for the official announcement. In her mind she could picture it, the weighing in, the certification. It seemed to take forever, but then the numbers flashed on the board. “The very, very best. There’s Burke.” She gripped the nurse’s hand. “He’s worked so hard for this, waited so long. Oh, I wish I could be with him.”
She watched the cameramen and reporters vie for angles as Burke and his trainer grouped in the winner’s circle. Why wasn’t he smiling? she wondered as she wiped another tear away. She saw him reach up and shake his jockey’s hand but couldn’t hear whatever it was he said.
“It’s a good day for Three Aces.” A reporter stuck a microphone in Burke’s face. “This must make up for the disqualification last week, Mr. Logan.”
“It doesn’t begin to make up for it.” He patted the colt’s neck. “I think Double Bluff proved himself a champion here today and proved my trust in his team, but this race was run for my wife.” He pulled a rose from the blanket covering his horse. “Excuse me.”
“That was a lovely thing to say,” the nurse murmured.
“Aye.” Still, as Erin watched the jockey hold the cup over his head, she wondered why she felt so lost.
Chapter Twelve
They flew home as soon as Erin was released from the hospital, but she didn’t feel like celebrating. Everything should have been right. Burke’s reputation had been cleared, his prize colt had won the Derby with a track record, and she was safe. So why was it everything was wrong?
She knew Burke could be aloof, that he could be arrogant and hardheaded. Those were three ridiculous reasons to love a man, but they were reasons none the less. What she hadn’t known was that he could be both withdrawn and distant. He never touched her. In fact, as the first few days passed, Erin realized he was going out of his way to avoid any opportunity to touch her. He came to bed late and rose early. He spent a great deal more time out of the house and away than he spent at home.
She tried to tell herself he was just gearing up for the Preakness—the second jewel of the Triple Crown—but she knew it wasn’t true.
With too much time left to herself to think, she began to remember the words she’d heard on her wedding day.Men are easily charmed, and just as easily bored.
Was that it? Was he bored with her? Trying to find the answer, she took stock of herself. Her face was the same. Maybe she was a little hollow-eyed, but those things came with worry and restless nights. Her body was still firm, though she knew that would change in a matter of weeks.
And what then? she wondered. When she told him about the baby, would he turn away completely? No, she couldn’t believe that of him. Burke would never turn his back on his own child. But on her? If he was tired of her now, how would he feel when she began to round and swell?
She wanted to look forward to the changes in her body, to the signs that her baby was growing and healthy. But would those same changes push Burke only farther away? How could they not, if they didn’t reestablish their intimacy? Since the physical change couldn’t be avoided, Erin decided she’d better do something about seducing her husband now.
She chose the wine herself. That was something she was pleased to have developed a knack for. She wouldn’t do any more than play at drinking it herself, but it was the atmosphere that mattered.
And candles. She set dozens of them around the bedroom, lighting them so that their scent would be as much a part of the mood as the flames. She chose the same gown she’d worn on her wedding night, the white lace that made her feel like a bride. He’d thought her lovely once, desirable once. He would again. She picked the Chopin he’d played on their first night together and wondered if he would remember.
Tonight would be another first, another beginning. When they’d loved each other, when they’d finally come back together as they were meant to be, she would tell him about the baby. Then they would talk about the future.
He’d taken himself to the wire before he climbed the stairs. Burke found it easiest to wear himself out before he slipped into bed beside her. That way it wasn’t as difficult to stop himself from pulling her against him. It wasn’t as difficult to ignore the fact that she was right there next to him, soft and lovely and incredibly sweet. It wasn’t as difficult to will himself to sleep and pretend he didn’t want her.
But it was all a lie.
It was killing him to be with her and yet not to be with her. Still, he knew no other way to wean her away, to give her time to make a choice. She had secrets she was keeping from him. He could see them in her eyes. There were times he wanted to take her by the shoulders and shake her until she told him. Then he would remember what she had gone through because of him, and he didn’t touch her at all.
She’d been the perfect wife since they’d come back. Never demanding, never questioning, never arguing. He wanted Erin back.
Then he stepped into the bedroom and his limbs went weak.
“I thought you’d never come up.” She crossed to him, holding out a hand. “You’re working too hard.”
“There’s a lot to be done.”
