Page 51 of Irish Rose
“You’re my wife, damn it, and that entitles you to whatever you want. You’re past the point where you have to draw wages.”
She was silent a moment, and when she spoke, she spoke carefully. “That’s it, isn’t it? You still believe that I’m here because of your fat checkbook.”
He didn’t know what he thought, Burke admitted as he stared out the window. She was perfect, warm, loving. And the longer she was with him, the more he was certain there had to be a catch. No one gave unconditionally. No one gave without wanting something back. “Not entirely,” he said after a moment. “But I don’t believe you’d have married me if I didn’t have one. I told you before it doesn’t matter. We suit well enough.”
“Do we?”
“The point is the money’s there and you may as well make use of it. You never know how long it’ll last.” With a half smile, he lit a cigar. “That’s a bridge we’ll cross when we come to it. Enjoy it, Irish, it’s all part of the bargain.”
She thought of the child inside her and could have wept. Instead she stood. “Is there anything else?”
“I want you to go write out a check for whatever your family needs.”
“All right. Thank you.”
“We’ll be leaving for Kentucky in a few days. The Bluegrass Stakes and the Derby.” He turned and leaned back against the sill. “You should enjoy it. It’s quite a show.”
“I’m sure it’s wonderful.” She took a long breath and watched him carefully. “It’s a pity Dee’s too far along to travel so she and Travis won’t be there.”
“That’s the price you pay for having a family.” He shrugged and moved back to his desk.
“Aye,” she said quietly, but the light had gone out of her eyes. “I’ll let you get back to work.”
“Wasn’t there something you wanted to tell me?”
“No. It was nothing.” Erin closed the door behind her, then covered her face with her hands. Hadn’t she told him she loved him? Hadn’t she showed him in every way she knew? And now she was carrying physical proof of her feelings, but none of it mattered to him.
Then it would have to matter to her even more. Erin straightened her shoulders and walked away from the door, unaware that Burke stood on the other side, hesitating, his hand on the knob.
He hadn’t meant to be angry. She’d looked so happy when she’d come into the room. She’d smiled at him as though... as though she loved him. Why couldn’t he get past the block and just accept? Because he didn’t believe in that kind of love, not even when he felt it himself.
He did believe that she would stay with him, happily enough, as long as he continued to provide her with what she needed. When he’d met her, he’d recognized the hunger for more he himself had always felt. He’d recognized the need to see new things, climb new mountains and win. It was just fortunate for both of them that he was in a position to show her those things, to provide her with the means to taste and hear and see the fantasies she’d had.
She could love him for that, and that he could understand.
But what about the man who had come from nothing? What about the man who could be back to nothing at the toss of the dice? What would her feelings be for him? He couldn’t afford to find out, because the man who thought love only existed for convenience was desperately in love with his wife.
She was far from aware of it. As Erin walked into the kitchen, she was certain Burke only wanted her as long as she did nothing to upset the balance of his lifestyle. Sooner or later, he would be aware that together they already had.
Rosa was washing crystal in the sink but stopped the moment Erin walked in the room.
“Is there something you want,señora?”
“I’m just going to fix some tea.”
“I’ll heat the water.”
“I can do it myself,” Erin snapped as she slammed the kettle onto the stove.
“As you like,señora.”
Erin leaned her palms against the stove. “I’m sorry, Rosa.”
“De nada.”
As Rosa went back to her crystal, Erin found a cup and saucer. What kind of wife was it, she wondered, who didn’t even know which cupboard held her dishes? How could she be so happy and so unhappy at the same time?
“Rosa, how long have you worked for Mr. Logan?”
