Page 38 of Irish Rose
Then she was naked, tumbling to the bed so that his body covered hers. His hands found her, sent her spiraling so that she arched against him even as the fear of the unknown began to brew. Her breath caught with the sensation of being pressed under him, vulnerable, dizzy with desire. Her own body seemed like a stranger’s, filled with towering emotions and terrifying pleasures. She wanted a moment, just one moment of reassurance, one soft word, one tender touch. But she was beyond asking, and he beyond listening.
Greedy, impatient, he took his lips over her as he wrestled out of his shirt. He wanted the feel of her flesh against his. How many times had he imagined them coming together this way, urgently, without questions? She was murmuring his name in a breathy, desperate whisper that had his passion snowballing out of control. He dragged at his clothes, swearing, hardly able to breathe himself and far beyond the capacity to think.
Her body was like a furnace beneath his, and with each movement she stoked the flames higher. She dug her nails into his shoulders; he fused his mouth with hers. Past all reason, he plunged into her.
She was curled away from him, trembling. Burke lay in the dark and tried to clear his head. Innocent. Dear God, he’d taken her with all passion and no care. And he was the first. He should have known. Yet from the first time he’d held her she’d been so ripe, so ready. There had been the strength, the hotheaded passion, the unquestioning response. It had never crossed his mind that she hadn’t been with anyone else.
He ran his hands over his face, rubbing hard. He hadn’t seen because he was a fool. The innocence had been there in her eyes for any man to see who’d had the brains to look. He hadn’t looked, perhaps because he hadn’t wanted to see. Now he’d hurt her. However careless, however callous he had been with women in the past, he’d never hurt one. Because the women he’d chosen before had known the rules, Burke reminded himself. Not Erin. No one had ever taught them to her.
Searching for a way to apologize, he touched her hair. Erin only drew herself closer together.
She wouldn’t cry. She squeezed her eyes tight and swore it. She was humiliated enough without tears. What a fool he must think her, sniffling like a baby. But how could she have known loving would be all heat and no heart?
The hell of it was he was lousy at words. Burke reached down to the foot of the bed and drew a cover over her. As he tried to sort through and pick the best ones, he continued to stroke her hair.
“Erin, I’m sorry.” By God, hewaslousy with words if those were the pick of the litter.
“Don’t apologize. I can’t bear it.” She turned her face into the pillow and prayed he wouldn’t do so again.
“All right. I only want to say that I shouldn’t have... ” What? Wanted her? Taken her? “I shouldn’t have been careless with you.” That was beautiful, he thought, detesting himself. “I hadn’t realized that you hadn’t—that tonight was your first time. If I’d known, I would have... ”
“Run for cover?” she suggested, pushing herself up. Before she could climb out of the bed, he had her arm. He felt her withdrawal like a blade in the gut.
“You’ve every right to be angry with me.”
“With you?” She turned her head and made herself look at him. He was hardly more than a silhouette in the dark. They had loved in the dark, she thought, unable to see, unable to share. Perhaps it was best it was dark still so that he couldn’t see the devastation. “Why should I be angry with you? It’s myself I’m angry with.”
“If you’d told me—”
“Told you?” She sniffed again, but this time there was more than a little derision in it. “Of course. I should have told you, while we were rolling around on the bed naked as the day we were born, I might have said,‘Oh, by the way, Burke, you might be interested in knowing I’ve never done this before.’That would have put a cap on it.”
He was amazed to find himself smiling even as he reached for her hair again and she jerked her head away. “Maybe the timing could have been a bit better than that.”
“It’s done, so there’s no sense pining over it. I want to go home now before I humiliate myself again.”
“Don’t.”
“Don’t what?”
“Don’t go.” That was a tough one. He hadn’t known he’d had it in him to ask. “What happened wasn’t wrong, it was just done badly. And that’s my fault.” He caught her chin in his hand as she started to turn away. “Look, I’m not good at asking, but I’d like you to let me make it up to you.”
“There’s no need.” She wasn’t aware that it was the gentleness in his voice that was calming her. “I told you I’m not angry with you. It’s true it was my first time, but I’m not a child. I came here of my own free will.”
“Now I’m asking you to stay.” He took her hand and, turning it palm up, pressed his lips to the center. When he looked up at her again she was staring, her lips parted in surprise. He cursed himself again. “I’ll draw you a bath.”
“You’ll what?”
“Draw you a bath,” he said, snapping off the words. “You’ll feel better.”
When he disappeared into the adjoining room, Erin simply continued to stare after him. What in the world had gotten into him? she wondered. She gathered the blanket around her and stood as Burke came back in. He was wearing a robe tied loosely at the waist. The light from the bath angled out onto the floor. She could hear the sound of water running and sensed—but surely she was mistaken—a hesitation in him.
“Go ahead in and relax. Do you want something? Tea?”
Mutely she shook her head.
“Take your time, then. I’ll be back in a few minutes.”
Not a little baffled, Erin walked in and lowered herself into the tub. The water was steaming so that she felt the tension and the ache begin to diminish almost immediately. Sinking down, she closed her eyes.
