Page 1 of Guarded By the Bigfoot
1
PARKER
My office window had a habit of collecting magic like other windows collected dust. Today, the fae musicians outside had woven a melody so ethereal it left crystalline notes trembling against the glass, each vibration etching spectral patterns that captured starlight like prisoners. Beautiful, if you didn’t know the deadly undertone of their song. The kind of music that could enchant a soul right out of its body.
I cranked up my noise-canceling headphones (blessed by the local priestess, because I learn from my mistakes) and focused on stuffing case files into my messenger bag. A fresh goblin migration needed investigating, but what I wanted was for this day to end. Ten hours of cataloging shapeshifter identity violations had left my eyes burning and my patience worn razor-thin.
“Parker Woods!”
A sparkle-bombed tsunami of mischief burst through my door in the form of Miranda from Supernatural Resources. She wore a crown of living vines that twined through her hair like excited silver snakes. One tried to bite her ear. She didn’t notice.
“You can’t leave yet! The party’s just starting, and Matthias from Clan Relations brought his famous enchanted brew again!”
I tapped my headphones and gave an exaggerated shrug, but Miranda wasn’t having it. She flicked her wrist, and my music cut out in a puff of pink smoke. Sparkling and clingy. Unpredictable stuff that clung to everything. Great. One sneeze and I’d detonate like a glitter grenade.
“Come on,” she said. “Even the monsters take breaks during the Wild Moon Festival!”
“That’s like a week away. The last time I took a break and tried Matthias’s brew, I woke up speaking in riddles for three days,” I said.
“But it’s the biggest celebration of the year,” she huffed. “Why can’t you stay?”
“Let’s see...” I ticked off the cases on my fingers. “Three poltergeists playing ping-pong with furniture in Pioneer Square, a rogue tooth fairy running a black-market dental operation, and something’s been eating all the garden gnomes in Bloom Valley.”
She waved her hand dismissively. “Please, that’s like every day around here.”
“And another day that I have to be back here at the crack of dawn. Some of us actually need sleep, Miranda.”
The Agency of Realm Control, better known as ARC, had one job: keep the magical and mundane worlds from tearing each other apart. When something went bump in the night, or turned into a seven-foot demon threatening to eat city hall, it was ARC that took care of the mess. We’re basically a supernatural cleanup crew with no hazard pay.
“You’ll miss out on all the fun!”
“Raincheck,” I said.
Miranda pouted but didn’t follow as I slipped into the hallway. I was halfway to the elevator when a sharp voice stopped me in my tracks.
“Agent Woods.”
I turned to find Director Nolan striding toward me, his stern expression suggesting someone had replaced his coffee with pixie dust again. Been there, buddy.
“Director,” I said, straightening.
“Come with me,” he said, not waiting for a response.
My stomach sank as I followed him to his office. The last time I’d been summoned like this, it had involved an angry dragon shifter and three weeks’ worth of paperwork.
Nolan closed the door behind us, gesturing for me to sit. I didn’t.
“Is this about the garden gnome thing?” I asked. “Because I’m pretty sure it’s a troll, and I already submitted a?—”
“This isn’t about gnomes,” he interrupted. “I’m reassigning you.”
“Reassigning me?”
“There have been anomalies detected near the mountain section of the Veil.” He tapped a file on his monitor. “Another agent was scheduled to investigate, but he’s... unavailable. You’ll be taking his place.”
“Unavailable as in ‘taking a tropical vacation’ unavailable, or ‘currently being digested by something with big teeth’ unavailable?”
Nolan raised an eyebrow. “Is there a problem?” The kind of eyebrow raise that said, “I’m choosing to ignore your commentary for the sake of my blood pressure.”
