Page 65 of Lost
“So are you attracted to me?” I chuckle. “It wouldn’t bother me in the slightest, but to have a chance with all this, you need to figure out your shit with Nova.”
Lars’ eyes follow my teasing hand down my chest before rolling his eyes.
“That’s adorable,” he mutters.
“Fucking minefields,” Caleb says, and I have a feeling that’s an echo of a conversation I’m not privy to. “It’s really difficult to not be needed. I can say that she’s a lot of work, but she’s been functioning just fine alone. I feel like she’s been very lonely though. All she does is work.”
“And work on her car,” I grunt. “She also hangs out with her feral cat. Where is she anyway?”
“I pulled a cat bed out of the room and placed it in the living room. It’s warmer there,” Caleb says.
There’s a bit of color in his cheeks, but I can’t tell if that’s embarrassment or not. As long as I don’t have to deal with the cat’s mercurial moods, I’m happier for it.
“Great,” I sigh. “She goes back to what sounds like a hectic schedule tomorrow, guys. Do you have some sort of game plan? Also, Lars, maybe you should find something else to call her. It’s not as dangerous as calling her a ‘good girl,’ but I have a feeling it’s close.”
Lars cringes before nodding. “Noted,” he says. “Let’s take her out for breakfast, try a change of scenery. Maybe remind ourselves to schedule a lobotomy or personality change.”
Well, we started out strong at least.
Caleb smacks Lars over the head and my lips twitch.
“Breakfast sounds great,” he mutters. “She’s going to want to go back to her house. Even though I think it’s tiny and she shouldn’t be living there.”
“It sounds palatial compared to the van,” I remind him. “You’re judging her for things outside of her control. Nova probably pinches pennies in between jobs. Not to mention the fact that her van needs constant attention.”
“Bertha is a real bitch,” Lars says.
My shoulders shake inappropriately because I find them funny. They’re just so clueless.
“Nova does the best she can with what she has to work with. We’re not going to restrict her movements, because she’s not a fucking prisoner. The best way to have her dump the three of us is to treat her like one,” I say. “Remember her past, guys.”
Caleb nods as he drops his head back against the wall with a soft thud.
“It feels like she’s a breath away from rejecting us,” he mumbles. “There’s this weight of pressure to not fuck up, but I do anyway.”
“Try remembering that she’s an omega with a lot of feelings that she spends a lot of time trying to hide,” I say, throwing them both a bone. “If you had any idea… Her mind is a place of constant redirection. Meaning, a really bad memory will pop up, and she’ll force herself to think of something else. I will never use the word fragile to describe Nova, but she is hurting. A part of me wonders if she’s holding out until she’s home so she can fall apart.”
“Crashing out alone is a dangerous thing,” Lars breathes. “We can’t push her though, because I have a feeling she’s tottering on the edge of something big, based on what you’re saying.”
“She needs space,” I growl. “Less than you’ve been giving her, though. Be here but stop pushing so hard. It’s…confusing when I put it like that. I’m sorry. Let’s try that again: hold space for her and give her the choice to tell you things. Pushing Nova will make her run.”
“We’ve seen how that goes,” Caleb says. “I pushed Nova to leave at the hospital because I didn’t listen to her. I just wanted her to stop hurting so badly.”
“Too bad it doesn’t work the same way for her emotional distress,” I say before I can help myself. “Trust me, you’d fold like a deck of fucking cards if you felt one tenth of what she does. I’m struggling not to bubble wrap her as it is.”
“That’s going to give me nightmares,” Lars grunts, pushing his hand through his mussed curls.
His dark rimmed glasses are slightly skewed on his nose, and he looks rumpled from sleep. Somehow, it makes his large frame feel a little less intense.
Taking in a deep breath, I take in their scents, thinking about Nova. She needs them, even if she doesn’t want to. They just need to stop being so dense.
“I’m willing to give you nightmares if it means you start acting right,” I mutter. “I’m going back to bed because I have a warm, soft omega waiting for me in her nest.”
I listen to Caleb and Lars groan and smirk in response.
“Nova isn’t going to let you back into her nest unless you earn it,” I add. “I’m sure the same will be true for her home. And yes, we are not standing in the way of her returning there, tiny or not. Nova has very little stability in her life, her familiar places give her that. Don’t try to dictate her.”
“I think I liked it better when you were in the dog house too and I wanted to kick your ass,” Lars mutters.
