Page 64 of Lost
“Not against their will,” he grunts. “It’s part of submission, letting go of the constant need to make decisions. There’s trust on both sides of it, safe words, and the submissive is in charge the entire time.”
Thinking about it, I wonder what it would be like to be completely aware and restrained. My heat is a bit different since I’m semi out of my mind with pain and need. It’s why so many omegas are taken advantage of during it.
If those alphas had been able to break into my van, I would have caved under the pain and had sex with them. It would still be considered rape in my eyes, despite begging them for knots in the haze of my heat.
Looking back, I can see why Caleb and Lars didn’t have sex with me. We aren’t in a good place. While I wouldn’t have regretted it because I am attracted to them, I don’t think we’d be any closer for it.
“I think I’d like to try one day,” I mumble, leaning against Tyde’s side as we walk. We’re almost back to the garage, and I don’t see Caleb at all. I guess he went back inside after griping at me. “I’m a big believer in rewriting your own story when necessary.”
“I’m glad, baby,” Tyde says. “You’re my future, and part of my job is making sure it is the best one possible. Can I hang out with you while you change out this alternator?”
“As long as you’re okay with loud rock music,” I chuckle.
“Deal me in,” he teases with a grin, putting the box on a table and pulling up a chair.
Tyde is the perfect gentleman as I rage out to Angelic Demons for the next two hours, my hair up in a messy bun as I pull off my sweatshirt and get to work. I get hot when I’m under the hood, and I don’t really need brute strength tonight since I don’t need to raise the van.
This is what I want from my alphas. Strong arming assholes need not apply.
Chapter Thirteen
TYDE
A gorgeous blonde and purple haired queen is sleeping in my arms. She fixed her car, went upstairs to shower, and then invited me into her nest to sleep.
It’s almost like I can feel the jealousy coming from further inside the house, wherever it is that Caleb and Lars chose to sleep. I’d rather take that than an empty space where they should be, because that just hurts Nova even more.
We’re in the small closet space instead of the larger bedroom. Nova wanted the enclosed safety of the nest that she seems to be gladly claiming. She said that it wasn’t small enough to be panic inducing, and that it was really smart of me to have used the curtains to limit the height of the ceilings.
The truth is that I’m a nerd with endless resources at my disposal. I researched the psychology of nests and then created something I thought she might like. I was unfortunately limited by not knowing what her favorite colors were, but she seems to feel comfortable and safe in here.
I’ll take the win.
I hate that I have to work so early tomorrow. I really should go back to sleep since I haven’t slept much, but I need to have a conversation with a pair of alphas. My lips brush Nova’s temple as I ease my body away from her, my fingers pinching the edge of a weighted blanket to cover her with.
My hands bunch the fabric of my long sleeved shirt as I sit up, pulling it over my head to lay it over her as well. Hopefully, this will help her stay asleep until I can come back to her. Easing into a crouch, I stand carefully and leave her nest before looking over my shoulder.
Nova whimpers in a way that shows she noticed my absence and I immediately purr in response.
“Stay asleep, baby. I just need a few minutes,” I whisper.
Snuggling under the blanket, her body relaxes again as she falls deeper into sleep.
My bare feet pad out into the hallway, and I don’t even have to look for the brothers because they both slip out of the rooms two doors down from me.
“I don’t know that I would have been able to tear myself away from her,” Lars murmurs.
“Her happiness is more important than my comfort,” I grunt, moving closer to them before I lean against the wall.
I don’t want to walk too far away in case she wakes up. She already woke up alone once, I don’t want to make it a habit.
“That’s adorable,” Caleb grumbles. “This doesn’t need to be a competition.”
I take a beat before responding. I need it to realize that he’s talking to himself and his brother.
“No, it doesn’t,” I say. “Look, Nova wants someone who understands that she’s fucking capable of doing things. You both see the damsel in distress. She’s so much more than that.”
“Her sister said that to Caleb and I the other day,” Lars sighs. “She also accused me of being attracted to you and not wantingNova because it was like fucking her. I love my best friend, but her tongue is sharp and her words brutal.”
