Page 45 of Lost
“I want her,” he grumbles. Lars isn’t even here. He promised his brother that he’d check on the ‘demon kitty.’ “I’m trying to figure out how to deserve her. I want this to be more than just biology.”
“I can understand that. I think biology is the only reason I have a chance with her,” I breathe.
The gel I use in my hair when I bother with it has long given up the ghost from sweating, and it’s hanging limply over my eyes. I’ve never been comfortable with my body, I don’t like my nose, and I regularly work out so I’ll be able to tell myself I’m overreacting about my stomach. As a kid I had a very awkward time before I hit my growth spurt, and the memories of being an overweight nerd haven't managed to fade even now that I’m in my thirties.
It sucks. I want to be more confident. Lars and Caleb are comfortable with their bodies. It’s obvious in how they don’t hesitate to pull off their clothes and easily slouch when talking outside the nest.
This just shows that body image has a lot more mental energy than people think. I have a washboard stomach withthe requisite ab muscles, but they don’t really matter when my scrubs cover it all.
I may not have been interested in sex, but people of all genders seem to treat others based on their fuckability. I don’t make the rules, I simply fail by them.
“Why would you say that?” Caleb asks. “Nova is a hermit, Tyde. Her entire life revolves around her clients. She disappeared for six weeks to do post partum doula work for one of them, and Lars and I had to stalk her to be able to speak with her.”
“Stalking is a crime,” I say mildly. “She’s damn good at what she does, from what I hear. The nurses were all very quick to explain that Nova not only has all of her required certifications, but that she has great client rapport as well when I asked around about her. When I initially met her, she had such a calming presence for her client. I was completely overwhelmed by her.”
“Hence your fuck up,” he teases.
My brow raises as I flop my head back to gaze up at him.
“Exactly. I figured that the universe had to throw some type of curve ball in my way. The problem is that I’m my own worst enemy,” I grunt.
“I don’t know how much she’ll remember about her heat, but you’ve been good to her,” he says. “If you can get her into the shower to clean up, I’ll go down and raid the fridge for fruit. She hasn’t eaten much.”
“I don’t think she’s going to have an appetite for food,” I smirk. “She’s had a very one track mind.”
“Doesn’t hurt to try,” he sighs. “I have to move or I’m going to lay down with you and not get up so I can hold her.”
“See, that’s what I’m fucking talking about,” I growl. “Nova can feel that you’re holding back. If I have to hear her think once more that you two don’t want her, I’m going to fucking snap. Idon’t fucking care how pretty you two are, or the fact that you could snap me in two.”
Caleb chuckles under his breath, his lips curling slightly.
“All I heard was that you thought I was pretty,” he says. “I don’t want my first time with her to be during her heat, and I think we’re all on the same page here. It’s why Lars and I are allowing you to do the sexy dom shit you seem to be into. Though, the fact that she bit your cock was impressive. I didn’t know an omega could bond an alpha like that.”
“All it takes is broken skin,” I reply, ignoring the rest of his words. As long as I do this, I can’t embarrass myself. I really need him to put some pants on though. His cock is bouncing off his abs, and I force my eyes to remain on his face.
“Mmhmm,” Caleb says. “I’ll be back. Sweet talk her into the shower, Tyde.”
“I think sweet talking is very much out of my wheelhouse,” I grumble, but he’s already walking away.
“I think you’re sweet,” Nova mumbles, her eyes opening slightly. Her beautiful eyes are glazed over and her skin is flushed. “Are you really not going to give me your knot? I’m not a virgin if that’s what you’re worried about.”
“I’m not worried about who you’ve been with before,” I say, my lips brushing over her lips. She tries to follow to deepen the kiss and I smile. I’ll give her all my kisses if she wants them. “I want to treat you like a fucking queen, Nova. I suck at words, so I’ll just say that I want you to remember the first time I sink into your wet, tight cunt, Baby Girl. It’s not going to be the best heat you’ve ever had, and I’m sorry for that.”
“That was sweet,” she murmurs. “I don’t need romance though. I’m too ruined for all that.”
My eyes widen and my heart begins to pound. Does she really think she’s ruined? Is that why she’s simply settling?
Fuck if I want that. Unfortunately, her lashes are already brushing her flushed cheeks again and she drifts off to sleep before I can say something. Swallowing hard, I get up with her in my arms and purr for her as I walk to the bathroom.
I say everything I can think of through the bond, and find that I’m so much more eloquent this way. It’s easier not to overthink things, or worry it’ll sound corny. If only it was acceptable to only speak to your omega and no one else.
Snorting at the thought, I use the dimmer switch to keep the room as dark as possible and hold Nova against me as I sit on the large lip of the tub to turn on the water. Her skin is still scalding, which concerns me, but we’re together. It’ll run its course when it’s ready.
I don’t know how long she was in heat before Caleb and Lars found her, but if I were to guesstimate, we may be going on her third day. Standing once the tub is full, I add bath salts that smell nice that’ll mask the magnesium within it. I’m not proud that I’m essentially drugging my omega, but I’m not a saint.
The longer she sleeps, the more likely she’ll burn off the heat this way. There’s no tried and true method to an omega’s heat, though it’s not usually spent the way we are. I hear there’s more fucking and knotting.
Easing into the water, I sigh as I lay back with her between my thighs. There’s no way to stop my dick from being hard against her, so I simply nuzzle her neck as I pick up the washcloth and soap and begin to clean the cum from her skin.
