Page 30 of Lost
“I really don’t think that’s how it works. She was nowhere near Hollis when she had a migraine at the same time that she did,” he says. “They were just both in Minneapolis. I checked on her because she was going to work on her van, but couldn’t due to the pain. She couldn’t function.”
My lungs shut down as I think about that, and I lean against the wall as I wheeze.
“How… Why would she lie to you, Caleb?” I ask.
“Because it was easier,” he sighs. “I asked her how far was far enough and she fucking said Chicago. I didn’t think she was serious.”
“Why would you send her away?” Malcolm growls.
“She’s in pain, and we can feel that as her scent matches,” Caleb says. “I can’t fucking think knowing that she’s in that much pain. Hollis is knocked out and on pain medication, but Nova feels all of it.”
“You’re both fucking stupid,” he says. “We asked her not to run again. She said she wouldn’t, and now she’s going to break that promise to make things easier on you. Nova doesn’t feel wanted by the very people who are supposed to worship her. Fuck!”
“I’ll call her,” Caleb says, picking up the phone.
“Good luck. I doubt she’ll respond,” he mutters, pushing past us to see Hollis. “None of you deserve her.”
As Caleb’s phone rings to voicemail over and over, I agree that he may be right.
NOVA
My finger hangs over Caleb’s number before I hit the block button on it, needing some space from him. There’s been too many changes for me. I just need a fucking break.
I’m tired of fighting with the Finnegan brothers, and the constant need to carve out my identity in this city. Nothing is what I grew up knowing, and my mind is spinning. I can’t fucking do this anymore.
“It’s time to go, Pixie,” I croon, bending down to pick her up slowly. It’s often hit or miss on how she’ll react to being snuggled. “Please be good for me, baby.”
Keeping her close to me, I pick up her favorite things and walk her out to the van and turn on the vehicle once I have hersettled. Then, I slowly hobble back into the house and pack a bag filled with things that I need to survive in my van at a camping site. While I could get a hotel room, it may be better to exist off the grid for now.
Locking up the house, I leave the key underneath the mat and get into my van. I don’t know what the fuck I’m doing anymore, and I just feel untethered.
Shifting uncomfortably, I back up out of my little driveway and turn the van around so I can begin driving toward the gate. I already miss my house, but I’m not helping anyone by being here. I’m going to drive until I can no longer feel pain and then find a camping site.
It’s dark out as I flick my headlights on, careful to ease out onto the road as I drive through the gate. I don’t believe in being somewhere I’m not wanted or needed, and my clients know how to get a hold of me.
I can be their midwife without being in Minneapolis right now. I can handle this.
The scenery as I drive means nothing as the miles melt away, and I drive based on feeling for two hours until I’m out of the city and the pain begins to fade. Turning on my GPS, I find a campground another hour away and continue to drive until I get there.
Thankfully, I’m able to check myself in at the kiosk and use a name that doesn’t belong to me. No one will check, the only thing they care about is if I pay the daily fee or not.
My heart is heavy as I find my camping spot. I’m exhausted, sore from the phantom pains, and my eyes are heavy. I still force myself to put my sunshields over my windows for privacy, turn on my twinkle lights in the vehicle so I can turn off the engine, and get ready for bed.
I do have the ability to attach the van to electricity and water, but I won’t until tomorrow because I’m so tired. Instead, I brushmy teeth with some bottled water, change into pajamas, and set a warmer near Pixie and her bed so that she won’t freeze. This will be a lot easier when it’s not winter, but the cat and I have been through worse together.
“If you get cold, come snuggle with me,” I whisper, getting into the little bunk and turning on the electric heating blanket.
The last thing I do before falling asleep is turn my phone to vibrate and put it on the charger bank. The only numbers that will ring through are Malcolm and my clients. I want to know if something happens to Hollis.
My eyes are heavy as I drift off to sleep, but I feel like a coward. I hate that I felt that the only thing I could do was leave town because I was in everyone’s way, but sometimes the best thing to do is to remove yourself from the equation.
Now, Caleb and Lars can watch over my sister without feeling my pain, and I can start sorting through my emotions.
The stabbing pain comes back around eight in the morning, and I’m in the middle of connecting the van to electricity and water when it happens. Hissing in pain, I finish up and stagger back into the van, my arm around my stomach.
I don’t remember Hollis getting hurt near her stomach outside of the belt marks, but as slick pushes its way out of my pussy, I freeze in fear.
“No,” I whisper. “This cannot be happening. The universe can’t fucking hate me this much.”
