Page 27 of Lost
“You’re what’s wrong,” he says angrily. “If you’re in pain, why won’t you say anything? Are you somehow hurt?”
“Me? No, I’m fine. I just figured out that I feel some of the pain that Hollis does,” I say, wrapping my arms around myself. “Maybe I deserve this. I sometimes get her migraines too. Icouldn’t figure out why I started getting them when I moved to Minneapolis. I think it’s the proximity to her. I can’t believe she gets them so often. She’s like a superhero. Maybe I should get her a cape… You know, since our birthday is apparently tomorrow.”
Caleb continues to stare at me, stricken before shaking his head and picking me out of the chair.
“How much distance do you need from Hollis before you stop hurting?” he asks gruffly.
I shouldn’t continue to feel rejected by Caleb, but I do. Blinking rapidly, I shrug.
“Chicago might do it,” I rasp. “Should I just move there?”
“Don’t be a brat,” he says. “Do you realize that you’re fucking shaking with pain right now, Nova?”
“I was trying to ignore it,” I say softly.
I feel like a burden to everyone. I shouldn’t, but I do.
“If I go home, it should lessen,” I lie. “I’ll grab a cab home.”
My gate fob is in my bag on the floor, and I’ll figure out a way to keep Caleb from feeling my pain. Hollis needs him to stand guard, not feel my stupid phantom pains.
There’s nothing wrong with me for fuck’s sake.
I need to go as far away as needed until Caleb won’t feel my pain anymore. I’m not even sure if distance will change my connection with Hollis. I guess there’s only one way to find out.
“I hope you’re not lying to me,” he grunts. “Lars is in just as much pain. I don’t understand this at all.”
“Put me down,” I say, reminding him that he’s still holding me. “I’ll get out of the way.”
“Nova. I’m worried about you. Could you just stop for a second?” he asks.
“No. Want to know why? You have a job to do, and that’s to keep my sister safe. I’m a distraction right now. It’s up to me to remove myself from the situation,” I say. “Down, now.”
“I’m not a dog,” he grumbles, placing me on my feet.
“Good boy,” I say absently, grabbing my bag.
Looking over at my sister, I sigh. She’s still too pale.
I wish things were different. Maybe I’ll be back.
I still have clients to tend to, I’ll just drive until I can text Caleb and ask him if it still hurts. I care less about my pain and more about him. Funny how this scent match thing works.
Walking away from Caleb, I walk through the door to find Lars leaning against the wall with his face scrunched up with pain.
“I’ll fix it,” I whisper, leaving him behind to exit the ER ward.
I ignore Lars when he calls my name, simply walking faster. My body keeps wanting to lock up, and my right hip really hurts.
“Nova?” Malcolm asks as I walk through the waiting room, finally remembering to pull out my phone.
“I’m good,” I say with a tight smile. I don’t want anyone else to find out that I’m feeling Hollis’ residual pain. “I’m just going to take a cab home real quick. I’ll be back.”
“I’ll give you a ride,” Malcolm says immediately, standing. There’s a pinched, worried look on his face.
I really don’t want to be near my sister’s pack, because they know me well enough to know when I’m not doing well.
“It’s really not necessary,” I promise. “Stay here and take care of Hollis. I just need a second.”
