Page 128 of Lost
NOVA
Caleb holds my hand behind my back as he twists me into a series of small turns, and I laugh as he pulls me back into his arms. I’m having so much fun. It doesn’t matter that I don’t have any formal dancing experience, Caleb seems to have it in spades.
“Your laughter is addictive,” he murmurs, his leg between mine as he guides me into grinding over it. If I’d known that swing was this much fun, maybe I’d have tried it before.
“I think you are,” I breathe as he grins at me and steps back to turn me.
“Equal shares of obsession. I like it,” he says.
It’s as if there’s no one else in the room as we dance. The stalactites seem to glow with the lighting in the room, and it’s really magical. Before this, I’d tell you that Caleb didn’t have a romantic bone in his body, but he does.
I’m not used to so much exercise, and I’m breathing hard by the end of the event. However, it’s something I’d love to do again.
Tyde and Lars’ lips are swollen as we pick up our coats, and I smile secretly. Jealousy doesn’t exist in my heart. I know I’m not being pushed out or any other crazy thing. If it’s one thing I’m sure of after today, it’s that these alphas are interested in me.
This is a big deal for me. The last month has been a rollercoaster, and I can feel the wave of change rolling over me. Sometimes it feels as if I’m going to be pulled under and drowned, which is when I get overwhelmed. That’s how I felt last night after Dr. Royal’s discussion about my body rejecting the bite.
So much of my life feels up in the air. It’s difficult to feel like I have so little control, because I swore to myself that Minneapolis would be different. I was going to get my shit together for as long as possible, and now my reason for staying on the road is gone.
The promise of stability is so tempting I can taste it, but there’s fear there too. My brain is so fucked up.
“Come here, Little Warrior,” Lars croons, getting my attention as we walk out to the street.
“Your mind is very busy, baby,” Tyde murmurs, making me smile.
“It is,” I admit, standing between them so they can hold me between their bodies as we walk.
“What’s going on?” Caleb asks.
“Today was really good,” I breathe. “I just admitted to myself how much I’m enjoying how open you’re all being, and now I had this wave of anxiety hit me.”
“Do you think we’re going to fall into old habits?” Lars asks.
“It’s more the fear that something will happen to take you away from me,” I sigh. “My heart is even racing, and it’s so hard to explain what I’m feeling.”
“That’s okay,” Caleb says. “I think we’re at the point where I can speak for all of us when I say that we aren’t going anywhere.”
“Correct,” Tyde says as Lars nods. “Remember that life is short, baby. While anything could happen, it doesn’t mean that it will. Focus on the good things.”
“Yes,” I nod. “It’s one of the exercises I do when things feel overwhelming. I focus on just good things. It usually helps. I’ll have to remember to do it when I’m feeling too much.”
“Too much in what way?” Lars asks carefully.
We’re standing outside of the vehicle talking, and while that feels kind of silly, I don’t think that they want to break the flow of conversation.
“It’s as if I’m too full of feeling. Good, bad, and a shit ton of anxiety. After so much back and forth, I can say that the three of you are important to me, despite what my bond bite is doing,” I grumble.
“It may be your body, but sometimes omega biology does crazy things,” Tyde reminds me. “Be gentle with yourself, Nova. I have a theory about the bond bite, but I want to tell you as soon as I have a chance to make sure I have the right person to test it with. I won’t put you with someone that has dangerous ideals. There are too many people who think like ROWS.”
“Oh. I don’t want that either. I can wait,” I promise. “My body is in time out.”
Lars chuckles under his breath as Caleb unlocks the door. “You’re so damn cute, I can’t handle it. Ready to go home?”
“I am,” I say with a smile, watching as Lars opens the back door.
They’re right. There are too many what ifs in the world. It’ll make me insane if I think about all of them. For now, I’m going to trust the universe to be kinder to me.
Chapter Twenty-Seven
