Page 37 of All the Ways You Save Me
“Did I hear you say you’re staying for the summer?”
“I…” I hesitate. “I was planning to, but my place fell through.”
“Oh, that’s too bad,” Ian says with another quick glance at Garrett. “But if you’re looking for a rental, I have a couple of two-bedroom cottages available. They’re brand new, and I haven’t even listed them. We’re still finishing up some repairs, so I wasn’t going out of my way to rent them this month. But if you want to take one for the rest of the summer and can handle a few unfinished projects, I’ll give you a discount.” He names a price that’s an absolute steal for the island but still a lot of money for someone like me.
Garrett’s eyes widen. “I really don’t think those would be a good fit for Madeline.” He clearly doesn’t want me here, and I guess I can’t blame him if he’s not Adam. I’m sure I seemed odd on the beach earlier, and now I’ve shown up here calling him by my ex-boyfriend’s name. But it’s not like there’s an instruction manual for a moment like this. Even if there was, all of that would have gone out the window when he dragged me from the waves. Of course I wasn’t thinking straight. But now I am, and I need to get ahold of this situation.
I turn to Ian. “Are you a realtor?”
“Developer. I own a company called Langley Capital.”
“Oh! Right.” No wonder Ian is familiar. His family owns the largest development company on Sandy Harbor. I grew up staring at a face that looked a lot like his on signs all over the island. Looking back, that man was probably his father. I vaguely remember he passed away right around the time my family left for Maple Ridge. It sounds like Ian took over the business.
“Those cottages aren’t ready for renters yet,” Garrett murmurs.
“You said there were only a couple of projects left,” Ian argues. “Mostly cosmetic stuff.”
I catch a glimpse of Garrett’s calloused hands with thecrisscrossing scars. He said he was a carpenter. Does he work for Ian? I try to remember any instances where Adam was interested in carpentry or similar fields. When I met him in high school, he had an after-school job at an autobody shop. I always sensed that he got a lot of satisfaction from doing manual labor.
Ian’s voice interrupts my thoughts. “Can you handle living in a cottage with a few unfinished projects? Backsplashes, some trim in the bedrooms. I can get a guy in to complete them in the next week or so.”
My gaze drifts back to Garrett, and I wonder if he’ll be the guy. “Sounds fine to me. I’ll take it.”
“The place on 24thStreet is the farthest along.” Garrett’s shoulders slump, and he seems resigned.
“Great.” Ian hands me a card. “Text my assistant, Vanessa, and she’ll get you set up.” His attention is drawn across the bar to an older woman waving at him. “Excuse me, that’s the mayor, and I need to go have a boring chat about zoning.” He gives me a grin. “Very nice to meet you, Madeline.” And then with a friendly jab at Garrett’s shoulder, he takes off across the bar.
“Listen,” Garrett murmurs when Ian is out of earshot. “This was fun, me being a doppelgänger and all…” His voice is flat, and he sounds like he is decidedly not having fun. “But I honestly thought this was kind of a joke. Like maybe you were using ‘oh, you look familiar’ as a pickup line or something. But renting a house and staying all summer is getting seriously weird. Are you going to hang around, staring at me with puppy-dog eyes like I’m your dead friend? Sorry your guy Aaron is…” He swipes a hand in front of his neck, mimicking a beheading. “But I think you maybe need a good therapist, not a beach house.”
His words cut into me. Adam would never have said something so unfeeling, and I can’t help the doubts that creep in. My eyes dance across him again, trying to identify any scars or mannerisms that might give him away as the boy Iknew. Adam was left-handed, but Garrett passes the beer back and forth, holding it with both hands. Adam had a hint of a rural accent, a dip at the end of certain words that’s common among blue-collar folks in central Pennsylvania. But so far, I haven’t heard that in any of Garrett’s speech. It wouldn’t be that hard to cover up, though, especially if he’s been away for a decade. My own distinctive speech patterns that developed during the first half of my life living in Jersey smoothed out years ago.
There were a few movements Garrett made back there on the beach, an expression on his face, a gesture that felt so much like Adam. But there are things about the man in front of me that are different, too. Garrett’s foot taps on the leg of the barstool, and I don’t remember Adam having that kind of nervous energy. When Garrett looks pained, he rubs the back of his neck, and I can’t recall Adam doing that either.
But then the bartender comes by to ask if I need another drink, and when I turn back to Garrett, I catch his gaze roaming over me in return, urgent and intense. If heisAdam, has he thought about me in the past decade? Does he remember that afternoon in the field of wildflowers, or those nights in the back of the Bronco, wrapped up in nothing but a thin blanket and each other?
IknowI didn’t imagine that pulse of electricity when our eyes met on the beach earlier, humming between us when he bandaged my heel. But that was attraction andthis—the way he’s staring like he wants to memorize every inch of me before I disappear—is something else entirely.
Garrett looks away, rolling up the sleeves of his faded denim shirt as if he needs something to do with his hands. I spot a woman at a table a few feet away admiring him. That same hollow of jealousy I felt when he was chatting with the bartender swallows me up. He’s had a whole life without me, and I’m sure that life has included girlfriends. Maybe even awife and kids. He doesn’t wear a ring, but that doesn’t mean anything. He’s a carpenter, it could be a hazard at his job.
I keep going back to the fact that if he were alive, Adam would never have left me. He wouldn’t have a life without me in it.
But maybe I’m wrong.
If Garrett really is Adam, then hedidleave. He blew up our life, our love, and all of our plans, and he left me to pick up the pieces. Maybe he wanted a fresh start away from the pain of his past. Maybe he saw his chance, and he took it.
All I want is the truth.
But I realize now that if I follow him around calling him Adam, he’s only going to push me away. I need to pivot, and I need to do it quickly.
I sit back in my chair and look him up and down as casually as I can while my heart is nearly pounding from my chest. “Youdolook like Adam, but the more we talk, the more I realize that you’re not who I thought you were. So, I apologize for following you here and taking up your time.”
He gives me a long look, and I’d give anything to read his mind right now. I used to feel like I could read Adam’s. But that was in another life. Does Garrett know I’m lying?
“What changed your mind?” he asks.
“I don’t know. It’s a feeling, I guess.” I gaze past him across the bar. “I’ve realized that the Adam I loved would never have left me.”
“I’m sorry,” he says in a low voice. “For your loss.”
