Page 41 of From the Noblest Motives
Then Blaze found himself pinned under two sets of intense stares—one dark and one summer-sky blue. How could they put him on the spot like this? "Um…"
Shudder tapped a finger on Blaze's knee. "Bailey, maybe it's time to choose. Put us all out of our miseries and confoundednesses."
"That's not even close to a word," Blaze growled. "I can't… I wouldn't…" He surged up, waving both arms. "I don'twantto fucking choose!"
Not a twitch from Damien, though Shudder slumped and asked, "So you don't love either of us?"
"Fucking cocksucking fuck! No! I meanyes!" Blaze plunked back down on the bed, suddenly feeling wrung out and run over. "I just… I thought I could choose. I thought I had. But… I can't."
"You still love us both," Shudder said with more confidence.
Tears pricked the corners of Blaze's eyes as he stared down at his boots. "Yes. I'm sorry."
Out of the corner of his eye, he caught Shudder taking Damien's hand, and Damien didn't pull away. Shudder whispered, "Did you hear that? He loves us both. Best news all month, right?"
Blaze lifted his head, wondering if Shudder was making fun, but Damien's nod, at least, was grave and serious. "I… yes."
"Such a relief." Shudder collapsed dramatically sideways with his head in Damien's lap. "I thought about you so much after you both left me, I felt like my brain was melting."
Blaze snorted so he wouldn't cry.I'm so confused. "It melted a long time ago."
"I've always loved Blaze, and then I fell in love with Damien. And I couldn't haveeitherof you. Extra brain melt."
While it was good to see Shudder acting more like himself, Blaze struggled to keep up. "I don't… What's happening here?"
Shudder snuggled closer to Damien, who inexplicably began stroking his head. "I'm a buffer. Damien said."
"Well, yeah, dumbass. Didn't we talk about that?"
"I don't remember. Anyway, hooray for not choosing!"
Blaze rubbed the spot between his eyebrows. "Twitch, I need someone sane to explain what's happening here."
"Ican't do it, then." Damien was looking down at Shudder, a hint of a smile peeking through.
"Now you've got jokes?Now?"
When Damien raised his head, though, his eyes weren't laughing. Something gentle and tender had settled there. "When we thought Shudder might be dead, there was a… a terrible lurch inside me. The ground wouldn't stay still. It was so much like the horrible feeling the day you were shot."
He stopped and reached out, waiting until Blaze took his hand. "I've started to think I was wrong. About many things. I don't… react when you're both with me. Not in any significant way. It's safe. I'm safe. And… and maybe it doesn't matter that we can't all be together all the time. Maybe I made it too complicated. Because I thought you should have a fairytale. That it's what you would want."
"Hey, I'm no prince," Blaze offered gently. He hated to interrupt when Damien was speaking in full paragraphs, but he had to know. Now, finally, he had to know. "What about theLword that Shuds is throwing around like confetti?"
"Love is…" Damien sighed, his thumb stroking sunlight over Blaze's knuckles. "Difficult for me. I'm not sure of it. Not sure how it's supposed to feel. Some days… many days, I haven't been certain it's real for me. But I've thought about both of you every day we were apart. I feel warm and protective about both of you, as absurd as that sounds. I want you both. So much. I feel… better being with you. That I am better with you."
"That's pretty damn close, Twitch. I'll take it." Blaze let a slow smile bloom. Damien looked too serious, too close to distress. "You're talking about ménage. Getting me all hot and antsy."
"A triad." Serious Damien hadn't cracked yet. "More than sex, the three of us." Finally, something twinkled in those dark eyes as he flushed pink. "Though sex is nice."
From Damien's lap, Shudder broke in. "I was thinking about a nap, but I could maybe stay up a little longer."
"No stress on your leg." Damien moved Shudder's head to the pillows and lifted his feet onto the bed. "And I think Blaze should strip first."
So we're doing this? Now?Blaze stood, blinking in shock for a moment, but when Damien made up his mind, he didn't waver. He pointed a finger at Damien while he addressed Shudder. "Just so you know—he can be massively bossy in bed."
"A little bossy," Damien protested as he climbed onto the bed next to Shudder and wrapped an arm around him. "Sometimes. Blaze, could you get the door?"
Blaze gestured toward Damien. "See?"
