Page 4 of From the Noblest Motives
"I didn't want to hurt you," Damien whispered. "And it would happen someday."
"Yeah. Well. Too late for that." Blaze ran a hand over his eyes. "I know that's not what you mean. But you know what? People spend enough time together, they're gonna hurt each other. Look at me and Shuds. Ha."
Damien stared at his hands. "But Shudder would never have killed you."
"Neither would you." Blaze reached over and poked him in the ribs. "I've seen you white out. Been right there in front of you when you go berserker. Not afraid of you, Damien Hazelwood. You hear me?"
"I…" They'd had this part of the conversation before. It hadn't helped with Damien's anxieties then, either. "Yes."
"Look, that's not what I meant to say." Blaze poked him again, softer this time. "I wanted to say I'm sorry, too."
"But you didn't—" Damien broke off in confusion when Blaze stuck out a hand toward him.
"Blaze Emerson, bad at friendships, worse at relationships. Nice to meet you."
"I'm…" Damien shook the offered hand, warmth rushing through him when Blaze's fingers closed around his. He shook his head with a helpless smile, not sure what to do with this odd peace offering.
Blaze kept hold of his hand gently, so Damien felt he had the option to pull away easily. "When I left Shuds this last time, we promised we wouldn't be out of touch. That we're friends again. He's still a fucking idiot, but I missed him." Blaze gave a quick squeeze. "Like I missed you."
"How is he?" Damien chewed on his bottom lip, not sure why he'd blurted that out first out of all the things whirlpooling in his head.
A quick flash of white teeth showed in the moonlight filtering through the truck's windows. "He's himself again. Back to harrying the establishment, last I heard."
"Good. That's… good."
Blaze ran his thumb over Damien's knuckles. "I don't want anything more than you can handle, right? Can we set boundaries, so we're not cut out of each other's lives again?"
"Boundaries." Damien drew his hand away, his heart hammering with uncertainty.
"Yeah. Obviously, we can still work together. We're doing it, and we're good at it."
Waiting for some sort of social trap, Damien answered hesitantly. "Yes."
"Okay. Good start. We could call each other when you're in range. You have my number. Check to see neither one of us have died and stuff."
"All right. I… I'm not in town much, but… yes."
"See? This isn't hard." That quick flash of teeth again, and Blaze tapped Damien's knee. "Now you ask for something. Something you want or don't want."
Something I want? I want you. I want your hands on me. I want you naked beside me. All of that sounded too much like the opposite of boundaries, but the conflict between the habit of being touch averse and being touch starved had dug trenches in his brain and were exchanging fire. The war in his brain allowed a single word to fight its way out. "Sleep?"
Even in the dark, Damien knew Blaze well enough to visualize a single ginger eyebrow climbing up his forehead. "You mean you want to sleep together? Just sleep and not euphemisms, right?"
With his jaw clenched shut against the escape of more words, Damien nodded.
"I'm good with that." Blaze tapped his arm. "Nothing you don't want. Got it?"
"Yes." Damien let out a breath, some of the tightness easing in his chest. "Guns?"
Blaze was already unbuckling his holsters. "Right. I'm not a comfy pillow with the weapons strapped on. I remember. Anything else?"
"Boots," Damien blurted out. "Your feet… it's not good for them."
The exasperated sound as Blaze unlaced and yanked off his boots seemed more for show than out of actual annoyance. He set his boots aside with a solid thump. "There. Now are we ready to go to sleep?"
Damien scooted across the enclosed truck bed to him and gave Blaze a gentle push to get him on his back again. Carefully, as if Blaze might change his mind, Damien eased down beside him, burrowing in close so his head rested in the hollow of Blaze's broad shoulder. All of the nerve endings he hadn't realized were screaming settled as Blaze wrapped an arm around him.
Safe, his body hummed,and guarded. Damien's head rode up and down as Blaze pulled in a deep breath that might have been relief or just him settling. Within moments, Damien had fallen asleep.
