Page 31 of Geoffrey the Very Strange
The door glowed a disconcerting green as Geoffrey approached. He hesitated, and when Aspic took his hand, Geoffrey looked up at him in surprise. "You're coming with me?"
"Of course I'm coming with you. I have no idea how tricky or dangerous this place is. You need someone at your back."
"Thank you." Geoffrey kissed Aspic's claws and opened the shop door.
The door shut with a satisfied snick behind them, and they both took a moment to adjust. No windows lined the walls, yet the shop somehow gave the impression of daytime, though it was clearly still night outside.
The inside somehow managed to be exactly and exactlynotwhat Geoffrey had expected at the same time. Cauldrons simmered and burped in one corner. Expected. Candles burned on various surfaces, and their lemony fragrance and the scents of the usual magically useful herbs filled the air. Expected. Purple incense smoke hung in curling fingers along the ceiling, and when Aspic sneezed fretfully, Geoffrey registered the dust. Expected.
All pretty standard for a magic shop, at least from what he'd been told.
In the direct center of the room, right in the customer's immediate line of sight, sat an enormous smiling mermaid sculpture holding a crystal ball of obvious age. From spotting the mermaid and thereafter,expectedleaped out the nearest nonexistent window, never to return.
Geoffrey tilted his head at the rather curvy mermaid. "That's ostensible."
"Ostentatious?"
"Yes."
"Hello?" Aspic called out. He received no answer.
They followed glittering arrows around the mermaid. To do otherwise seemed rude in the face of their cheerful obviousness. The reason for the non-answer became clear when they passed a bookshelf stuffed with heavy tomes on arcane and esoteric subjects. Geoffrey's fingers itched to leaf through them—maybe the answer was there—but he didn't want to interrupt the pair of dwarves leaning in the book alcove who were clearly, ah, involved with each other.
Interrupting would've been rude and probably dangerous.
As Geoffrey and Aspic rounded the mermaid, they found a long, stone counter. No one manned it at that moment, but it was clearly where one came for shop assistance. Geoffrey was searching for a bell to summon a clerk when Aspic tugged his sleeve.
"Um…"
Geoffrey glanced up and around and gasped when he spotted the wizard staring at them. He appeared ancient and typically wizardly, with his long beard and robes, but Geoffrey backpedaled a step at the blue tinge under his skin. Perhaps no one else ever saw it. Another wizard certainly could. It spoke to power Geoffrey didn't understand.
The wizard stared at them long and hard, making Geoffrey feel judged right down to his bones and sorely lacking. Just as he thought he might melt into his boots in mortification, the wizard turned his head and nodded to… someone before he walked off and closed the door of what was presumably a back office.
"I don't see anyone, do you?" Aspic whispered. "Hello?"
A high-pitched voice called out, "Down here, you great big dolts!"
Geoffrey followed the voice and found a bright-yellow flower fairy no taller than his index finger standing on the counter, tapping her foot impatiently. As soon as his gaze fastened on her face, her expression shifted from angry to the most insincere smile he'd ever seen.
"Welcome to Marden's Magic Emporium," she said in a sugar-sweet voice. "I'm Twinkle, and I'll be assisting you today."
"Twinkle?" Aspic blurted out, his pink eyebrows apparently trying to look for Sundrop in his hair.
The angry face returned. "You heard me, buster! You got a problem with myname?"
"No, no ma'am." Aspic waved one hand over the other in desperate negation.
"Good." Anger morphed back into the sweet voice and expression. "How can I help you?"
"We're…" Geoffrey tried and lost all his words immediately. He drew in a slow breath. "We need… I'm not sure. To deflate zombie shells."
Twinkle turned a puzzled look up at Aspic. "Is he all right?"
"He means defeat, I think. But he's quite right about the zombie seashells."
"One ofthosecustomers." She rolled her eyes. "Great. Oh, sorry. I mean, I know just how to help you."
She flew behind the counter, where there were dragging sounds and considerable swearing. "Little help here? From someone who's not smaller than this stupidsack?"
