Page 115 of Blue Arrow Island
“I’m fucked either way.” His note of laughter carries a bitter edge. “I can switch with Nova and take Amira, but I’ll be thinking about you every fucking second. Worried about you. Or I can keep you with me and fight my urges.”
There’s nothing I want more than to hear more about his urges. But it’s only going to make things worse for both of us. I look at the floor, and then up at him.
“I feel it too, but we have to focus on finding McClain. We can’t just think of ourselves.”
He nods. “I know. I just wanted you to know what you’re getting into.”
Closing the distance between us with a step, he brushes a curl away from my face and cups my cheek in his huge hand, the brush of his thumb over my cheekbone sending a spark of awareness dancing down my spine.
“You sure you want to do this?” he asks, his voice gruff.
I put my hand on his waist, nodding because I don’t trust my voice. Even now, I’m not as close to him as I want to be. My body practically hums with the urge to climb him. Even on aromium, I’ve never wanted someone like this.
“If I get out of control, you know what you need to do.” His voice is earnest, the pad of his thumb still stroking my cheekbone.
“I won’t need to do that.”
“But if you do need to, can you?”
My brows drop with worry. Could I kill him? If it came down to it, I don’t know if I could. But there’s only one acceptable answer to give him.
“Yes. To save my life or the lives of other Dust Walkers, I could.”
Some of the concern slides away from his expression. “Good. And before we go out there ... this might be the only chance I get to do this.”
He leans in, my pulse quickening as his warm breath caresses my lips. He slides his free arm around my waist, melding our bodies together as he kisses me, my lips parting eagerly for him.
His tongue brushes over mine, the kiss lighting my body up from the tips of my toes to my scalp. It’s like I was dying of thirst and I’m drinking fresh, cold water. I wrap my arms around his back, moaning softly into his mouth.
It’s not just a kiss—it’s an awakening. His mouth plunders mine until I have to pull away, breathless. My eyes find his, the hunger and need I find there matching my own.
He rests his forehead against mine, speaking softly. “I know we’re still getting to know each other, but ... this is who I really am. Remember that.”
“I will.”
He steps back, a smile tugging on his lips. “I haven’t kissed anyone since before the virus. That was worth the wait.”
My heart somersaults wildly. I love being the only one who gets to see this soft, sweet side of him. I just wish I could have more. Somehow, though, I know he’d be like a drug for me. No matter how much I had, it would never be enough.
I’d never be able to quit him, so no matter how much I want to, I can’t give in to anything physical between us. There’s too much at stake.
33
Human test subject males demonstrate different reactions to the newest test compound. Test subject seven choked test subject three over a minor disagreement involving the potatoes served at dinner. Without a larger test group, it’s hard to discern whether it’s the aromium or existing emotional volatility.
-Excerpt from the journal of Dr. Randall McClain
A rush of energy washes through my veins when Stella pushes the button on the handheld device to reactivate my aromium. I was thirsty; now I’m not. I felt a little lethargic; now I’m ready to run a marathon.
I take a deep breath in and out, letting myself adjust. There’s definitely a sense that I might jump out of my skin.
“Okay?” Stella asks.
I nod and she moves on to Amira.
Marcus went first. He’s walking off the transition, his back to me about thirty feet away.
“I don’t feel any different,” Amira says, looking relieved. “Probably because mine wasn’t on for long.”
