Page 71 of This Memory
“You can’t run the turkey trot, Brystol!” Evelyn barked, her hands going to her waist.
Brystol slowly shook her head. “I’m sorry,what?”
“No, I am putting my foot down! Youcannotrun the marathon.”
I watched as Brystol’s facial expression changed from shock to anger to something I couldn’t pinpoint. She looked down at the floor for a long moment, then back at Evelyn.
“I knew this was going to be tough, being a surrogate. The counselor I had to see before the procedure told me that you might be clingy, or overly worried, or upset because you weren’t able to experience the things I would while carrying the baby. I told myself all of those things would be okay and work themselves out. That you’d have your moments…but you’re my best friend, and there wasn’tanythingI wouldn’t do for you, that I wouldn’tendurefor you. After all, I was carrying your baby before even havinga child of my own. But of all the feelings I thought I’d experience, I never thought I’d feel the way I do now.”
Evelyn dropped her hands to her sides. “What do you feel now?”
“Regret. I honestly regret doing this for you.”
Evelyn gasped.
I touched Brystol’s arm. “Bry…don’t say something you’re going to wish you hadn’t.”
Brystol took a deep breath and blew it out loudly. “I know I shouldn’t say it, but that’s how I feel. You’ve been pushing the limits with me over and over the last month,and I get it; you’re worried about your child. But I cannot walk around in a bubble, living a nonexistent life soyoucan feel at ease. I spoke to Dr. Lark about my running. I’ve been running nearly every day since the implantation was done, Evelyn. I’ve been running since high school.
“You don’t get to tell me what I can and cannot do with my life unless it directly impacts your child. I’m not drinking, doing drugs, or starting up new hobbies just for the hell of it. I’m living my life. And I willkeepliving my life whether you agree with what I choose to do or not. The last thing I want is for this process to ruin our friendship. So, I will say this for the last time—you need to stay out of my personal business. I will protect this child with everything I have, but I won’t allow you to control my life in the process.
“If you don’t mind, you can show yourselves out.”
Turning on her heels, Brystol walked away, heading upstairs, and leaving Evelyn staring after her.
She turned to Denny. “Did she really say she regrets the surrogacy?”
He glanced at me before he slowly nodded. “Yes. That’s what she said.”
Evelyn put a hand over her mouth and slowly sat on the sofa. “I…I didn’t mean to make her mad.”
“All due respect, Evelyn, what did you think would happen? You’ve been pushing her for the last month to follow your rules for howyouthink this pregnancy should go. You’re her best friend; you know how she is. Did you really think she’d just roll over and let you run her life?”
Evelyn glared at me. “You don’t know how much I want this baby!”
“I don’t know? Really? I sat with your husband while he cried his fucking eyes out after you miscarried for the fourth time, and the fifth, and the sixth. I listened while he told me he felt like a failure because he didn’t know how to make you feel better. I watched as you fell into a state of depression each time you lost a baby. Don’t sit there and tell meorBrystol that we don’t know how much you want this baby. Have you ever considered that Brystol is pregnant for the first time in her life…and it’s not even her baby? How do you think that affects her? Have you thought about her feelings atallduring any of this?”
Evelyn blinked rapidly as she stared up at me in silence.
“No. I didn’t think so.”
Denny stood. “I’m sorry to ruin your morning like this, Gavin. Please tell Brystol that when she’s ready to see us, we’d like to have her over for dinner.”
Evelyn cleared her throat, adding quietly, “Yes. And please tell her to call when she feels ready to speak to me.”
They headed for the door, but before they walked out, I said, “Wait.”
Both turned to look at me. “She didn’t mean it. The part where she said she regretted it. I think she meant aversionof that in the moment, but she doesn’t regret helping bring your baby into the world.”
Evelyn sniffled and forced a weak smile. “Thanks, Gavin. Talk to you soon.”
The door shut, and I scrubbed my hands down my face. “This is so fucked up.”
James held the bag as I punched it.
“Dude, you’re going to hurt yourself if you keep punching the thing like this.”
I stopped, grabbed my towel, and wiped the sweat off my face and arms. “Sorry, it was a shit morning.”
