Page 60 of This Memory
“Shit! Shit! Shit!”
I pulled the cup out and stared at the small amount of pee I managed to catch. I quickly wiped, flushed, and stood. I grabbed a few more paper towels, put them on the table, and set the cup down.
“Did I get enough pee?”
After debating, I washed my hands, dried them, then opened the bathroom door slightly. When I saw a nurse walking by, I called out, “Excuse me.”
“Can I help you?”
I chewed nervously on my lower lip. “Would you mind coming in here?”
Her brows shot up.
“You see, I have a small problem, and I’m not sure what to do.”
She looked unsure but walked into the bathroom.
“So, as a woman, I’m sure you know how hard it is to pee in these cups, am I right?” I laughed. When she only gave me a patient stare, I cleared my throat.
“Right, um, so this was all I managed to get. Will it be enough?”
When she looked from the cup to me, she was clearly amused. “We can make that work. Just put it in the door on the paper towel that’s already in there. Next time, you can ask for a collection hat.”
Confused, I asked, “A collection hat?”
She nodded.
When it was clear she wasn’t about to offer me any more information, I smiled. I would google that shit the second I was out of here. “Great, thanks for the reminder.”
She pressed her lips together tightly to hold back a laugh. “If that’s all you need?”
“Oh! Yes!” I quickly walked over and opened the door. The nurse gave me one of those expressions that basically translated to “bless her heart.” Turning, I grabbed the cup, put it in the door, and then proceeded to wash my hands again before heading out to the waiting room.
Evelyn was pacing. “Are you okay? Did you get sick?”
I looked at her, then at Denny. “Was I gone that long?”
He softly smiled. “No, you weren’t gone that long.”
“She was. Much longer than just simply peeing.”
I stared at Evelyn. “Do you have me on the clock, Eve?”
“Don’t be silly, Brystol. You were just gone longer than I thought you should be.”
Glancing around the waiting room, I slowly exhaled and noted the few people watching the exchange.
Denny motioned for Evelyn to sit back down. Once I sat as well, I turned to her. “If you must know, I peed all over my hand and had to get a nurse to tell me if I got enough urine for the sample.”
Her eyes went wide as she looked down at my leggings. “You peed on yourself?”
“My hand, Eve. I peed on my hand.”
“Gross,” Denny whispered, as Evelyn clearly attempted not to laugh.
The door opened and a nurse stepped out. “Brystol?”
I stood and made my way to the door, with Evelyn and Denny following
