Page 44 of This Memory
All I could do was shake my head. He placed his hand on my lower back and guided us away from Lacy, and everyone else, to the back of the store. You could only get to the apartment from the staircase accessed outside the building. We walked through the back storage area, past my office, and outside. I punched in the code to get to the stairwell that led to the apartment.
Once upstairs, Gavin shut the door, and I walked over to the window and looked down at Main Street. It was still light out, since they held the trick-or-treating on Main earlier in the afternoon.
I could feel Gavin’s eyes on me, but I couldn’t bring myself to look at him. I’d been trying to avoid him for the last few weeks because I knew the moment I saw him again, the memory of the best orgasm of my life would instantly rush back.
Clearing his throat, he said, “I want to explain why I left the way I did that night.”
I kept quiet because if I spoke, my voice would crack. The last three weeks had been a mix of emotions. One minute, I found myself so mad at Gavin that I wanted to scream. The next, I was having dreams of passionate sex with him. And the next…I was on my sofa, crying as I watched some stupid romantic movie.
He let out a long breath before he spoke. “I’ve never experienced anything like that before.”
Confused, I turned to look at him. “You’ve never given anyone oral sex?”
His cheeks turned a bright red. “No, I have…but it’s never been likethat.”
I frowned. “Like what?”
His hand pushed through his shorter hair, and I had to keep myself from grinning. I was right, his hair was standing up because of that nervous action. God, that stupid hair was so hot. I wanted nothing more than to rip his clothes off and make love to him right here and now.
Gavin started to pace. “With other women, it was just about sex. There wasn’t any emotion in it for me. But with you, knowing it wasyou…Bry…it did something to me. I’ve dreamed of doing that to you for years.”
I took in a sharp breath.
“I was so fucking into it, that when you came, I did too.”
I blinked rapidly as I tried to wrap my head around his last words. “What do you mean?”
He stopped pacing and looked right at me. “I came in my pants when you orgasmed. I wasthatfucking turned on. That’s what you do to me, Bry. You drive me crazy! I don’t know if I want to hate you or…”
His words trailed off.
“Or what?” I asked softly.
Gavin shook his head. “I don’t know. You make me twisted, and I can’t think straight.”
My heart felt like it was skipping every other beat. “Why did you leave like that?”
He closed his eyes briefly before he met my gaze. “I was embarrassed. I was feeling vulnerable and confused, but I didn’t realize it at the time because no one’s ever made me feel that way. It was easier for me to walk away than try to figure out what in the hell I was feeling.”
I nodded. “That’s fair.”
“I didn’t mean to hurt you. Well, I mean, I did that night out of sheer embarrassment. But I won’t ever do that again, and I need you to know that. I swear to you.”
His words felt like a soothing blanket around my heart. “I know you wouldn’t.”
“Do you? Because sometimes I feel like you hate me.”
I bit my lower lip and turned away from him. I heard him unzip and remove his jacket, and when I faced him again, my breath caught in my throat. He wore a cream-colored shirt that hugged his muscles in the most delicious ways. The man was built; there was no doubt about it.
My hand came up to my throat as I tried to remember how to breathe. His eyes landed on my fingers.
“Is it safe to paint your nails?”
Confused, I held out my hand. I had painted my nails black last night, when I thought I’d dress like a witch. This morning I didn’t feel so great, so I passed on dressing up and wore leggings and a light-blue sweater dress.
“Why wouldn’t it be safe?” I asked.
He looked down at my stomach. “The baby.”
