Page 106 of This Memory
He shook his head. “No. It’s not that it holds too many memories; it’s more that Evelyn and Denny wanted this. It’s not whatIwant.”
“Me either. I love my little house.”
Pushing off the island, he set his water down and made his way over to me. He pulled me into his arms and held me while I closed my eyes and relished the comfort he provided.
“Bry, talk to me about what you’re feeling. About the baby.”
I turned my head and buried my face against his chest. I drew in his scent—bergamot, with a touch of something elseI couldn’t put my finger on. When I pulled back, I looked up at his handsome face.
“I’m scared. I feel guilty. I’m sad.” I shook my head and blinked back more tears.
Gavin pushed a piece of hair behind my ear, leaned down, and kissed my forehead. “I feel the same way. It doesn’t feel…fair.”
“They wanted this baby so badly, Gavin.”
He ran his hands over my back lightly.
“They never even got to find out if it was a boy or a girl. They could have…did you know that?”
“How?” he asked.
“They took blood and said they could find out the sex that way. But Evelyn wanted to find out the traditional way. She said it felt too cold to find out through bloodwork. I wish she would have found out.”
He reached up and brushed a tear from my cheek. “She’ll know, Bry. They’ll both know, and they’ll both be watching as the baby grows up.”
I buried my face in his chest again and let go of the sobs I was attempting to hold back.
When I finally had no more tears, I stepped away and wiped my face. “I should read her letter.”
Gavin closed his eyes, and a pained expression crossed his face.
“You should read Denny’s.”
He frowned, and I could see the battle behind his eyes. “If I read it, then it makes it all so fucking real. And I don’t want it to be real.”
I took his hand in mine and brought it to my lips.
He closed his eyes again and nodded. “Should we read them in private?”
My chest felt as if someone was trying to reach inside and rip it in half. I drew in a deep breath and slowly exhaled, hoping the pain would ease. “Maybe.”
We both looked around. For what, I didn’t know. Denny and Evelyn shared an office, but she also had a reading room where she’d go and lose herself in whatever book she happened to be enjoying at the time. She had an eclectic taste in books—romance, fantasy, sci-fi, historical. It just depended on her mood on any given day.
“I’ll go to her reading room,” I whispered.
Gavin nodded. “I think I’ll head up to his gaming room.”
Before we went our separate ways, Gavin kissed me. “I love you, Bry. And I’ll make you the same promise I’ve already made to Denny and Evelyn. I will love this baby with my whole heart.”
I couldn’t find the words to speak, so I hugged him tightly. When we broke apart, Gavin turned and headed out of the kitchen. I walked back to the living room, took the letter out of my coat pocket, and made my way to the small reading room, next to Denny and Evelyn’s bedroom.
When I walked through the door, I came to an abrupt halt.
“Oh my God,” I whispered as I crossed the threshold.
All of the bookshelves were gone. The room had been painted a light yellow. A rocking chair sat next to the large picture window with a view of the mountains and lake. Several boxes sat next to it, and when I bent to look at them, I realized one was a bassinet. I looked at another box, which was from a baby boutique in New York City. Another was from a store in New Jersey…
I put a hand to my mouth and forced myself not to cry when I realized what these were. They were from Evelyn and Denny’s shopping trip to New York City.
