Page 23 of A Lady's Dangerous Secret
He would do the honorable thing and make Charlotte his wife.
James’s stomach dropped and his arousal vanished as their reality reemerged. A marriage between them was impossible. He could never force Charlotte to be tied to a nobody for the rest of her life. She was destined to become a duchess.
James’s fists curled from the futility of it all. Being near her and knowing he could never have her was torture.
James waited on the garden bench until Charlotte and her aunt left, then he returned to the ballroom. Once inside, he wore a look of indifference, but that did not deter the marriage-minded mothers. Soon, he was surrounded by eligible ladies yet again. This time, he signed up for as many dances as he could. He needed a distraction from what had just transpired with Charlotte, and knew that because of his sister, Gabe would have to stay for a while.
Dance after dance, James peered down at beautiful, accomplished debutantes who would be the belle of any ball, but none compared to the fiery Charlotte.
Gabe and his mother and sister were finally ready to leave, so James joined the women in their carriage back to their town house, while Gabe left in a separate carriage to attend to his mistress. The women chattered excitedly about the ball and with whom Lady Bridget had danced, while James listened in the corner, feeling frustrated.
Once they arrived home, James went to Gabe’s study. The room was dark, aside from a banked fire. The servants knew the master of the house rarely slept at home, but always had his study at the ready, just in case. James poured himself a glass of his friend’s finest brandy, settled in a wing chair near the fireplace, and stared at the specks of embers. He knew he did not deserve Charlotte, yet he could not stop thinking of her. He took a gulp of brandy, hoping it would numb the pain. It did not work.
His thoughts shifted to Charlotte’s unnamed suitor, the Duke of Somewhere. James knew he could never compete with a duke and that he should not interfere with the life that was being planned for her. Yet, this realization did not dampen the frustration and hopelessness he felt at never being able to truly be with Charlotte.
James never liked to lose control but tonight was an exception. One glass of brandy became two, two became three, and so forth. He drank until he could drink no more, and stumbled up to his bedroom for a night of fitful sleep.
CHAPTER NINE
James awoke the next morning just as dawn broke, and felt his head pound and his stomach churn as much as it did after a grueling battle. He pulled himself out of bed, still in his clothes from the night before. He shuffled to the wash basin and splashed cold water on his face.
Fresh air.
He needed fresh air before he cast up his accounts. Being out in the open would clear his head. He washed and changed into fresh clothes before leaving the town house from the back.
James reached the mews while the sky slowly illuminated the sky. The stable was quiet at this early hour, and he saddled his horse. He mounted the gelding and rode to Hyde Park. The freshest air was at sea, but in London, a horse ride in the park would have to do. However, the tension he held in his shoulders was exacerbated by the stiff way he rode, causing him to regret his choice of early morning activity.
Not one to quit, he continued to the park. Once he made it through the gates, James nudged his horse into a trot, and soon a canter.
A canter was not enough.
He urged his horse into a gallop, despite his poor riding skills. He wanted a bruising ride with a sense of danger to make him feel alive and forget the toll the hangover took on his body. The wind whipped across his face, and his muscles flexed in exertion. On and on he rode, deeper into the park.
Then he saw her.
Suddenly, he pulled back on the reins, and the emotions that had been disappearing rushed forth once again.
“You,” he growled at the familiar figure on horseback.
“James? Whatever is the matter?”
“Nothing.”
Charlotte’s brow furrowed in consternation. “Something definitely happened. What is it?”
“You should be getting ready for duchess duty. I am not the man for you.”
Irritation flashed across her face.
“I told you…I must marry the Duke. I have no choice.”
“But what if you had a choice?” James challenged.
“You’re asking me about a hypothetical situation.”
“It should be an easy answer if last night meant nothing,” James said. He knew he was being unreasonable, but he wanted to know how Charlotte felt.
Charlotte took a deep breath and looked up at the sky, as if searching for answers from the heavens. Finally, she lowered her gaze and fixated on James. “Last night was everything. I felt a fire inside of me I didn’t know existed. But my fate has been determined.”
