Julian couldn’t help himself. He started laughing.
“Gerda.” This was the second time he’d said her name without honorifics, and he wanted to say it again. But that would sound weird, so he resisted. “You can’t justgiftme the most powerful suit set on the continent.”
“Of courseI can.I’m Madame Potts.” She looked down her nose at Julian haughtily, likehewas the one being unreasonable.
“At least let me pay for it,” Julian insisted, not taking the items.
“I don’t want or have need for gold,” she told him. “And you’re going to be in charge of keeping me safe on the journey north. The scepter and mantle already belong to your family; you should have the rest.”
“There’snothingyou want?” he asked, delaying until he could think up a suitable argument to change her mind. In the council room, she’d accepted fines for literally reaching out and saving people; it hadn’t sat right with him. He was angry on her behalf, and disapproved of her giving so much without expecting anything in return.
Then, her gaze dropped to his lips. “Well … there isonething.”
He froze.
Her half-lidded eyes made his heart pound in his chest, and he held his breath, his imagination running wild. His whole body tightened. After days of carefully walking a line, he couldn’t believe she was going to take the first step.
“Go on.” His voice dropped low in anticipation. The need to hear her say that she wanted him was so strong it nearly drove him to his knees. But he waited.
“I …” She blinked twice in rapid succession, and the moment was gone. Gerda looked away, drawing a haggard breath. “Actually, I … I’m fine. There’s nothing. Take it.”
Julian felt like he’d been whipped. He didn’t know if his own lust was clouding his judgement or if she wasdeliberatelyseducing him and then running away. This was a thousand times worse than her playful teasing; he felt like he was being cut loose after walking on the edge of a cliff. And he fell hard.
He’d reached the end of his control.
“Then let me tell you whatIwant.” He stood, taking the items out of her hands and tossing them onto the rest of the pile. “More than this suit, and more than my father’s scepter.”
She leaned back in her chair, surprised at his sudden intensity, her hands retreating. They were shaking. Julian had to fight to soften the words as he gave in to his ardent frustration and infatuation with the troll.
“I want you to admit there’s something between us. That I’m not the only one feeling this way.” Her beautiful brown eyes went wide. He leaned over the table’s edge and scooped up her long braid of dark-green hair, lifting it to his lips. “Tell me that you want me to kiss you senseless.”
“I—” Her words caught as she stared at his fingers playing with her hair.
“Tell me that you can’t stop thinking about me, because I haven’t stopped thinking about you since the night we met, and it’s taking every last ounce of my restraint to pretend otherwise.”
“But—”
“I want you.” The words terrified him, but he pushed forward. Before he heard her rejection, he needed to say everything so there would be no confusion on her part. He confessed, “I won’t lastonemore day without breaking under the weight of this all-consuming distraction that isyou, Gerda Jones. I wantyou.”
Gerda pushed her chair back, her braid slipping from his fingertips. He let it go and stood up straight again, giving her space.
“Are you done?” The bridge troll looked up at him, a war of emotions flitting across her face. He’d always prided himself on reading her expressions. There was frustration, excitement, and longing … and fear.
It was like an ocean smothering the small flame in his chest.
Her previous partner, as Julian understood, had beena monster. A troll, yes, but Julian wasn’t speaking to his race. The casual way she’d spoken about her ex-husband’s abuse made him physically ill.
“Yes. I’m done.” He forced himself to take another physical step back. To will his face into a calm, unthreatening mask that covered the roiling churn in his stomach.
She stood up. The suit set vanished into her inventory as she walked around the table to face him. The bridge troll stopped only inches away, shoulders set and hands clenched into fists at her sides. Gerda lifted one trembling finger and pushed Julian. For the barest moment, he resisted, but then, he let her shove him backward.
He teleported, the room shifting around him. His leg hit her bed unexpectedly, and he fell backward onto the coverlet.
“If you want me.” Gerda was standing between his legs at the edge of the bed, looking down at Julian. The finger she’d used to push him over lowered and delicately traced up his thigh. “Prove it.”
CHAPTER 71
On My Knees Again