Page 34 of I Ran Away to Evil
Keith had been very busy after my father’s threatening letter. He slept in and locked himself in his workroom most days. I was happy when we sat together in the office, but sad that we had dinner together less often.
Today was going to be completely different from my usual schedule. In fact, after I finished up in the kitchen, I was going to have my first Rufus-mandated excursion! As my first choice, I had decided to visit the village of Thistlecrick where the Naga clans lived.
But before that, I had some baking to do.
The naga were a monster race. Unlike beastkin, who always had animalistic properties like the lizardkin, or beastfolk, who could change from an animal at will like Rufus, the naga were a unique race unto themselves, like dragons or griffins. They were all born human above, snake below. As such, I’d been concerned about what kind of baking to bring, since regular snakes had strict dietary restrictions. They were also all carnivores. Not evenOut of This Worldhad a pure meat option.
That’s when Rufus had come through for me!The Carnivore Cookbookhe’d borrowed from one of his wolfkin clients contained a recipe forfowl bread.
Now, the question was: what was fowl bread, and why would someone call it something likefowl bread?
Well, in order to make the bread, I needed to find a number of ingredients that lived in the Dark Enchanted Forest, the first of which were forest fowl eggs. Panlith only had quail and duck eggs, so I’d started my day early and climbed about a hundred trees before I found sixteen forest fowl eggs. I didn’t want to take more than one from each nest, but luckily, it was early spring, and there were a lot of nesting birds.
I’d also found, killed, and harvested the largest forest fowl I could find (Sorry, Floofpoof Lv 6), and then took it back to the castle kitchen.
I browned the meat, drained it, and pulverized it with my fists. Then I mixed in the four eggs, some baking powder and soda. I whipped it violently until it was a liquidy texture, and then baked it for forty minutes. Baked bread acquired.
The loaves smelled like a feast day. The terrible name didn’t matter because it was one of the most delicious and fluffiest loaves of bread I had ever made. I made three more; one each for the three ruling families of Thistlecrick. Then I grabbed my sword from where it hung on my bedpost and tracked north from the castle. My blade was sheathed at my belt, and a basket full of unique baking was at my side.
While walking, I only had to use my [Killing Intent] perk eight times to convince predators not to attack me for the fowl bread.
I eventually found myself walking down a road with a lush canopy overhead. I turned a sharp bend in the road and came out of the dense forest path. Two great stone spikes as wide around as hippogriffs shot into the air and peaked together. Behind them stood a rocky cliff face covered in moss. The Dark Enchanted Forest had a few hills scattered around, but Thistlecrick was the largest, and the only one with known caves and hot springs.
Standing at attention at the base of each stone spike was a naga sentry.
They went on alert immediately when they saw me and crossed their spears to block entry into the village.
“Turn back lest you have business with the Naga clans,” the one on the left spoke. She wore an impressive plate on her otherwise bare muscular chest, and a helm that blocked her face. “We don’t want to have to kill you.”
She sounded downright menacing.
“Greetings!” I didn’t draw my sword but stopped and bowed dramatically—at least as much as I could while holding a large picnic basket. “I’m here to visit Thistlecrick. Have I reached the right place?”
“Yes,” answered the naga on the right, who also wore plate on his otherwise bare muscular chest. His armor and helmet were a little rusty, and I was pretty sure there was a dent in his helm. “But we do not take kindly to strangers. Be gone!”
“I apologize. Let me introduce myself! I am Sword Master Princess Henrietta soon-to-be of the Dark Enchanted Forest, and I have come to greet thethree ruling families of Thistlecrick with the permission of His Viciousness Keith Monfort of Nilheim.”
Keith had told me that even if I gave upthe jobof crown princess, I should continue usingprincesswhile in his lands. He was very generous.
I lifted my picnic basket for the naga sentries and added, “I brought a gift.”
The two shared a look, and after an imperceptible nod by the shinier sentry, her companion slithered away to presumably get someone in charge.
The remaining naga stood taller on her tail and looked me over. “If what you say is true, Princess, then we shall welcome you.”
“Thank you!”
“But,” she continued, “if you are a spy, no one will find your bones, for I shall use them as chew toys for my young.”
“You have children? Congratulations! How old?” I was sadly an only child from a very small and cursed family. Still, I’d had a wonderful time with the children of my old adventuring party.
This perhaps wasn’t the response the guard had been expecting because she paused for half a beat before saying, “Two and seven, Your Highness.”
“Lovely. Maybe I’ll get to meet them while I’m touring the village.” We could hear the sound of the sentry returning down the path. “I’ve only met one naga while on delegation to the Peldeep Courts, so please excuse my ignorance of your culture. Do you have any recommendations for me while I’m here?”
The shiny naga tensed when I mentioned meeting her children, but she was a proper sentry and hid any show of emotion on what little of her face I could make out.
“Try not to die.”
