Page 2 of I Ran Away to Evil
“Do you understand, Henri?”
I had gotten distracted and not followed along at all, so I simply said, “Yes, Father. I’ll deal with this bug, and you’ll never see her again. I promise.”
“See that you do,” he said. And I was suddenly left alone with a crying maid bleeding on the carpet. She looked up at me with terror.
“So.” I tried to smile naturally, but probably looked like I was sucking on lemons. I mentally counted the coins in my pocket and wondered whether it would make for a good severance package. “Want me to let you out the West Gate or the south one?”
“Henri!” Queen Thalia screeched with a voice like a particularly obnoxious tea kettle. “Henri, get down herethis instant!”
My mother was kinder than my father. She would ruin your life but still leave you with it.
You suffered more that way.
I jumped the second-floor banister unceremoniously and landed gently in the mezzanine of the Royal Suite. The maid sent to fetch me was still only halfway up the grand stair.
My mother was in the Tulip Parlor. I entered just in time to cut off a third loud summons.
“Yes, Mother, I’m here.”
“Your lapel is crooked.” She frowned, glaring me up and down. “If you can’t be beautiful, you can at least be tidy.”
“Sorry, Mother.”
“Honestly, dear, you will need to look the part when you leave. We can’t have anyone speaking ill of the royal family because you can’t keep up appearances.”
One word stood out. When Mother summoned me, it was always important to listen carefully to discover the exact reason. Sometimes, it got lost in between all of the helpful recommendations she gave me on how I could be a better version of, well,me.
“Leave?”
“Your father just announced it on the King’s Crystal.” Queen Thalia’s eyes smiled a moment of genuine happiness, and my heart hurt. Not for the first time, I wished I’d been born with her gorgeous raven-black hair or blue eyes. She had high cheekbones and a cut beauty that made anyone look twice.
Not to say I was ugly, mind. I liked to think my fluffy brown hair and soft brown eyes made me perfectly respectable.
Mother snapped open her fanciest fan and hid her smile. “Our kingdom is still struggling with the Dark Magician King. His evil golems have been spotted patrolling our borders closer than ever, and something must be done.”
The Dark Magician King, also known as Evil Overlord, Dark Overlord, His Royal Viciousness, or Arcane Sage Keith Monfort of Nilheim, had ruled the Dark Enchanted Forest for as long as I could remember. He’d actually come to my tenth birthday party and cursed one of the palace fountains to pour blood instead of water. I’d thought that was really something, but Mother had fainted.
Apparently, Keith hadn’t liked the assassins my father had sent him.
“So, what must be done?”
“Your chance to redeem yourself,” Mother said. “The court astrologer [Divined] thatyouwill be our hero to vanquish the Dark Lord.”
“I have to kill King Keith?” This was madness. “But what if I fail? I’m barely a level sixty Sword Master, and nowhere near a Sword Saint! Isn’t he a level eighty Arcane Sage?”
“If you fail, then you wasted all the benefits we gave you growing up.” Mother sniffed. “Your cousin married last year, and we’ve received good news. Even if Francis proved too dumb to train, I’m sure his son won’t fail us.”
Ah. I guess that was that, then. Time to pack my bags. I had a feeling if I fought this, I’d find poison in my food or a bag on my head as they physically threw me into enemy lines.
I chose to walk out of there on my own two feet. I’d take my chances with any number of Dark Lords over my mother.
CHAPTER 2
So You’re Here to Kill Me?
Keith
Keith Monfort, level eighty-three Arcane Sage, also known as the Shadow Magician, Evil Overlord, Dark Lord, His Royal Viciousness, and the ruler of the Dark Enchanted Forest of Nilheim, hadnotbeen expecting to be interrupted.
