Page 146 of I Ran Away to Evil
And Keith just knew that Henrietta would be so disappointed if they needed to destroy the bridge troll should she turn out to be a true threat. But for now, he needed to be thinking of a suitable reward for holding off the Drendil army. It was a lot to think of over cheese biscuits and a delectable pumpkin spice cake.
Luckily, Miss Gerda did not disappoint.
CHAPTER 87
A Song About Magical Arson
Henrietta
“Alright, alright! No shoving! I’ll be here until St. Veralyn’s Day.” Minstrel Brownie’s voice could be heard over the crowd as if she were standing right beside me and not up on the stage in Scowls. “Who’s ready for a rowdy song to start off the evening?”
A cheer of excitement nearly shook the tavern. Most of the furniture, I noted, was enchanted or made from incredibly durable materials. Some of the tables were even reinforced with strips of iron casing. His Royal Viciousness had declared tonight a celebration of Nilheim’s “overwhelming victory over the invading forces of Drendil,” although everyone I had spoken to was actually disappointed by the lack of experience points.
Keith and I sat in the back of the hall, lounging at a cozy corner table. We were nursing mugs of warm honey and cream, with a foam top and a dash of cinnamon sugar to tie it together. We were also cuddling. It wasn’t something I was familiar with, but as of this evening, it was my new favorite thing.
“You don’t think she’ll play the song about us, do you?” Keith asked, a little nervously. “She said it wasn’t ready yet. I don’t know ifI’mready yet.”
“Have you never had a song written about you?” I reached up and plucked at his neatly done-up buttons. They so rudely covered his neck, and I had an unending urge to rip them off.
“Well. There was this one that kept popping up a decade ago in Drendil about how I ate babies …” Keith coughed. “But I’m happy to say it didn’t get popular.”
“I remember that one!He’ll come for your child so hold them tight. The Dark Lord will feast till your bone’s clean white. So lock up your doors and turn off the light!”
Brownie cut me off with the start of her show. Probably a good thing, since Keith had buried his face in his hands. He looked to be in pain.
“I’ll start the night with a crowd favorite, ‘Tammy’s Tavern.’”
Now Tammy was a mean one who would water down the beer,
Her inn was full o fleas and her face a happy sneer,
No matter what you did you couldn’t get her to admit,
That the floaties in your drink were spit, and not some barrel grit!
So Jack and I went up the hill to see what could be done,
To rid us all of Tammy’s ill before the rising sun.
She smokes like a dragon, poison in the flagon.
And she keeps all the change for a tip!
She won’t wash the dishes, or debone the fishes,
She slaps you for giving her lip.
So tonight is the night, friend, we’ll give her a fine end,
One long overdue, gather round,
By spell or the sword, if you’re in get on board,
We’ll burn the place down to the ground!
So off we went together, to share in one last drink,
And Jack he brought his axe and Jill her quill and ink,
