Page 85 of The Deer and the Dragon
“Sure! What have you trained in? Can you lasso things? Have you taken fencing classes? What are your archery skills like?” The look she gave me told me to grow up.
My frustration was so palpable it nearly had a flavor.
“You’d be a liability with a sword in those hands,” Azrames said apologetically. “Your mind, words, and influence are the best weapons you have.”
Then to me, she said, “See, I thought he understood you, but apparently he’s forgotten you don’t have two brain cells to rub together. Now, are we ready to get going, or are we going to let Mister No Other Gods Before Me begin to topple his dominos and ruin every realm from the Slavs to the Mongolians thanks to someone who was apparently too pretty and special to die in her apartment? I like my life with the Nordes, but if Hell falls and I don’t get to sleep onthose sheets again…” She pouted, looking over her shoulder at the ultimate loss in the battle between Heaven and Hell: her sex life.
I was strangled between apologetic and frantic. My ignorant fuckup could destroy Caliban completely, and it was already too late. I’d destroyed him, the realms, the world as we knew it without even understanding the veil. He loved me; that love had been his biggest mistake. “I had no way of knowing—”
“You remember how I said Frigg liked you? You wanna keep it that way? Then make your people proud and fix this. Az, Mar’s apartment is invite-only.” She extended her hands toward both of us, one to me and the container of sweets toward Az.
“You can’t bring the cookies,” Azrames said, plucking the box from her hand and setting it on the counter. I slipped one hand over the callouses of his large, gray fingers and interlocked my other with Fauna’s soft hands to ensure they could both get past my warding. Before I could say another word, the world smeared into black, red, white, and gray, silver streaks blinding me as they seared into my vision. Then everything went dark.
Chapter Twenty-Seven
I gasped for air as if emerging from deep under water. My knees buckled, making me painfully aware that they were still purple from when I’d tumbled to Hell’s cobblestone streets. If I hadn’t been clutching two powerful beings, I would have crumpled to the ground once more. It took me a fraction of a second to recognize the couch, the television, the enormous windows with the distant view of the river, the orange glow of warehouse lights twinkling as they refracted in the late-summer night.
“Are you going to ask if it’s always dark here, too?” Fauna taunted, untangling her hand from mine as she moved about my apartment. I wasn’t sure what she was looking for, but Azrames shoved his hands politely into his pockets.
“Nice place,” he said appreciatively, and I knew he meant it. It was a nice place. It wasn’t centuries-of-assassination-compensation nice, but I’d done very well for myself. And in the absence of friends or hobbies outside of those that existed in my phone, I’d invested my expendable income in things that made me happy.
Oh shit, my friends.
My hands flew to the skin-tight pants on instinct before I realized that the last time I’d seen my cell phone, I’d been in a cream dress sprawled across the cobblestone streets of Hell. I’msure it was in the gutter of some other realm, a relic of mortals sitting in Satan’s sewers. I ran for my computer and scrunched my eyes against the tongue-lashing I knew awaited me.
I didn’t even read the messages from EG before responding.
(Marlow) Hey EG, I know it was uncool to disappear for a few days. My phone fell in a gutter on the same day that I ran into an old friend, and I took it as a sign from a universe that I needed to take a mental health break. I should have told you. I’m sorry for worrying you. Please send it up the ladder that none of this is on you. I am going to need a few extensions. At the moment, I can’t give you a new estimated time of delivery until my friend leaves town. She could be here anywhere from fifteen more minutes to a few more days or a week or so. I wish I had better answers for you, but this is as honest as I can be. I just wanted to pop my head back up from the ground before I go back in the earth again—I still haven’t replaced my phone and probably won’t for a minute. Sending love and regrets.
I winced against the hundreds of missed messages from the group chat. Something about them seemed…wrong. I frowned as I began to scroll, looking at the missed messages, then at the slow decrease in frequency. I clicked on one of Nia’s obscenity-laced messages to expand it, and my frown deepened as I looked at the date and time of delivery. I couldn’t believe the coldness in the last thing she’d sent.
(Nia) I called your bio-mother. Believe me when I say it was my last fucking option, and even then, you think I’m going to take the word of the abusive woman who put you in seven thousand dollars of therapy debt? The police were not thrilled with me, nor was she when she chewed me out for having to give a statement. Your car is at her place, Mar. Apparently you brought your lady friend toyour hometown? And honestly, Mar, I’m really goddamn disappointed. I thought you cared about us enough to let us know before you fell off the face of the earth. I am your family. Me. For your sake, I hope you’re fine.
I minimized her message and my eyes went to the corner of my screen, where once again the date and time showed something very, very off.
My hands began to shake as I lifted my face to look at Azrames, still quietly admiring the apartment from the middle of the room. He looked utterly at home in the shadows, his shades mixing flawlessly with their gloom.
“Az?” I whispered.
He rotated toward me, arching a curious brow.
“What day is it?”
His face softened at once. He took two steps close to me then squatted to eye level so that he could meet my face while I remained on the couch. An apologetic sadness pulled his mouth, his eyes, his very energy into a shade of regretful blue as he said, “Time passes differently between realms. What day did you leave the mortals?”
I swallowed, eyes darting to the corner of my laptop again. The cold, white letters and numbers hurt my eyes with their cruel impossibility. I shook my head slowly. My hair tickling my arms was the only sensation that cut through the numbness. “I was only in Hell for a little over a day,” I said with certainty. “Less than that. We got there in the middle of the night and left the next evening. It’s been eighteen hours at the most. It’s been…” But my eyes remained trained on the screen.
“How much time did you lose?” he prodded.
I looked into his face again, struck again by seeing his horns, his skin and coloration made of something entirelyother.Fauna and her ethereal beauty had been hard enough to accept, but having Azrames in my apartment was the key I needed in order to accept that, yes, this was all happening to me.
“It’s…September. It’s been two weeks,” I said quietly, suddenly realizing that no excuse to EG or the publisher would be enough. No bangcation or hot girl or retreat into the countryside would make Kirby or Nia forgive me for the nightmare I’d put them through or for the betrayal of holding me while I’d cried, mourning my family for years, only to have my own mother be the one with the answers.
My mother.
I wondered what tale she was telling. For that matter, I wondered what tale she’d been told.
Fauna clicked on a light in the hall, which broke my spiral. I called out to her, “What are you looking for?”
