Page 69 of The Deer and the Dragon
Her expression changed.
I kept my eyes on the bar top. “My sense of self-preservation has been…low.”
I felt her soft fingers before I realized I was about to cry. She gave my hand a squeeze.
I bit my lip to keep in the emotions until the first wave passed. Then I said, “People have seen my value for what I can do for them. My parents saw me as an extension of them—a chance to do better where they’d failed. When I was an escort, my value was as an accessory. I was professional arm candy. One who could keep a conversation going, who could read moods, who could offer an experience so that someone might get to feel that high of dating and lust for a night. Now that I’m successful, so many people see me as a sort of feather in their cap. But with Caliban, I was just me. And he never pushed me to change, you know? My journeys were mine to go through, and also mine to reflect on, with his support. And sometimes that support was just being held all night while I was convinced I was crazy. The only thing he wanted amid all of it was for me to be happy. And I just wanthim back. I want him back so much it hurts.”
“Who knew you were such a sap?” She squeezed my hand once more before releasing me. “Being sane is so boring. All the coolest people are crazy.”
I breathed a half-laugh.
“Plus, he’s a demon. The sex has to be—”
I jerked to alertness, looking around with far more intensity. “Can you not?”
She gave me a tired look. “Riddle me this: sharing drinks with an escort who is too much of a prude to discuss a good lay.”
“Maribelle did that,” I said quietly. “I have very distinct boxes for the personal versus the professional.”
She softened ever so slightly. She balanced her chin on her fist and regarded me. “Fine. I think it’s your turn. Any other inquiries you need to get out of your system?”
“Two more,” I said with some certainty. “The first is, now that we’re here, how do I find Caliban?”
The shadow slid two more glasses in front of us. I wasn’t sure if he’d anticipated our needs or if Fauna had signaled him while I was lost to my reverie. She thanked the bartender and took another long sip before saying, “We’ll go to the palace and look for an audience with the King. We’ll do it tomorrow once we’ve cleaned off your rain-smeared face, and we’ll get you some clean clothes. Now, last question. Hit me with it.”
“What are you so afraid of?”
She sighed. “I’m working up the courage to call us our ride. We need somewhere to sleep for the night, don’t we?” Fauna abandoned me to talk to the bartender. He offered her what was unmistakably a cell phone—or at least the black, glassy equivalent of what one might have in Hell—which she accepted. Fauna turned her back to me while she made a call. She thanked the bartender and rejoined me on the stool.
Her anxiety was contagious. I flinched against the question before whispering, “Who did you call?”
“Azrames.”
Chapter Twenty-Two
“If it isn’t the goddess herself gracing Shadow’s with her presence” came a charming call from over our shoulders. I turned to watch the black, white, and gray demon approach but didn’t miss Fauna’s creeping blush as she took a deep, steadying breath. She’d seemed so self-assured when they’d flirted in the back of Betty’s metaphysical shop. Maybe it was a little harder to keep her act together on his turf. “When I told you not to wait twenty years, I didn’t realize I’d said the magic words.”
Azrames leaned onto the bar beside Fauna, resting his weight on his arm.
“I don’t want to jinx it by asking to what I owe the honor. Who am I to question fate? How about it, sojourners? Can I get you another? Fauna? What about you, Marmar—who I hope knows better than to say her full name out loud down here?”
A knot in my throat made it impossible to swallow as the man casually dropped an adorable nickname. “I…no. No, I haven’t.”
“Atta girl,” he said approvingly.
My soul left my body. I turned away to conceal the open-mouthed shock and accompanying flush. I couldn’t blame Fauna. The man dripped sex. He’d shoved his jacketup to his forearms, revealing thick, muscled arms and large, strong hands.
Azrames ordered a round for all of us. My head was already ringing pleasantly as the buzz crept into my limbs. I usually drank only while writing. Ah, shit. Writing. I needed to message EG back…though something told me that my phone would not work from another realm. Hopefully, two international bestsellers would buy me the grace to play hooky for a little while.
Fauna still hadn’t spoken, so Azrames carried on for the three of us.
“Last time you were in Hell…”
She turned a violent shade of scarlet. If I had caught the arch of her back and curl of her toes, I was sure he had, too. He positively sparkled at her reaction.
“We’re on business this time, Az,” she said breathlessly. It was the first time she’d spoken since he’d arrived.
“And…,” he tested, “can the business wait until morning?”
