Page 66 of The Deer and the Dragon
Fauna’s long-suffering exhaustion wore heavily on her as she said, “No, but I appreciate that you’re halfway there.Sheolwas the original Hebrew translation, the realm of the dead.”
“You speak Hebrew?”
“I speak everything. You have three sips until I’m done with this topic. Are you done interrupting?”
I bit my lip to keep from interjecting.
“You’re getting your imagery fromParadise Lostand Dante’sInferno, which is fine if you want to base your worldview around dead white guys who wrote religious fanfic. It was thousands of years after the establishment of the religion you grew up in. One sip to go.”
It felt obscene to argue theology in another realm while speaking over classic rock and clutching a beer, but questions waited for no one. “But the verses—”
“Can I askyoua question?”
I wasn’t sure if I was mad, cold, or confused. I may have nodded, or perhaps it was just a rain-soaked tremble. I was uncomfortable in fifteen different ways and had no ideawhere to start.
“Cool.” She made a satisfied, smacking sound as she drained the cup. “If your big bad Devil was forced to do things for God, wouldn’t that mean he was still in servitude? Like a prisoner of sorts, doing Heaven’s bidding, serving faithfully by punishing bad guys or whatever? And if he’s a faithful servant, then did he commit treason? Because either you buy in to the idea that he’s a fallen angel because he rebelled and rules his own kingdom, or we believe he continues to serve his original king by faithfully punishing people and continues to be a good little lap dog for the King of Heaven. Have it one way or the other.”
I shivered again and Fauna sighed. She slid the dredges of her candy-apple-green beverage to the lip of the bar and walked to the far side of the counter. I watched her exchange a few words with the shadow before he nodded. He procured a large stone bowl from beneath the bar and walked around to our side of the counter. He set it at our feet and flicked his wrist, setting a controlled, roaring fire ablaze. The heat was utterly delicious. I hadn’t realized I’d still been clenching every muscle until my blood began to thaw.
“Oh!” he gasped, onyx fingers outstretched as if he’d dropped something. I froze, worried I’d done something wrong. I gave him my most attentive concern before he said, “I brought the fire, but I forgot the brimstone. Shall I…?” and though he had no face, I could feel him smile.
“You’re terrible,” Fauna said, offering a starlit grin.
“Holler if you need anything else,” he said. I allowed the flames to defrost the rain and cold, marveling at the magic that caused the fire to hover within the bowl without any observable source aside from the bartender’s will. I listened to the music with the beer to my lips and choked at a repressed memory.
“What?” she asked, eyeing me over her bright-green music.
I shook my head, “I just…my mom was right. Shethought rock music would send me to Hell, and she was right. They’re playing Kansas. I expected ominous orchestral music, heavy on the organs.”
“Well, you can find that here, too. But you can also find that on Earth. Preferences are preferences wherever you go. I bet there’s a cute demon cowboy listening to country while doing the two-step somewhere in the city. Honestly, all our kingdoms thrive on their diversity, like anywhere. Maybe not so much in Heaven. They’re a lot stricter. They keep their ducks in a row and all that. Don’t get me wrong—there are still some cool guys there. And some good music. It’s not all bad.”
“You’d said Silas wasn’t that bad, and he ended up being the biggest prick of them all.” I glared over my drink, distracted from Fauna only long enough to appreciate the tacky, illuminated art behind the bar. The neon-red outline of a pinup-style devil lit half of the wall, setting the entire bar aglow. Save for our fire and two dim, naked bulbs dangling from the ceiling over the pool tables, her crimson light was one of the only things separating us from shadows.
Fauna shook her head as she laughed, damp hair already drying as we enjoyed the firelight. She made a curious face, mouth quirked between hushed conspiracy and amusement as she said, “Silas isn’t a total prick. We went on a date once.”
I had to set down my beer to keep from dropping it to the floor. I banged on my chest, coughing so hard that it drew the attention of the other three in the room.
“Oh, don’t be dramatic. He took me to a nice place in Heaven. He paid and was a perfect gentleman. But talking about kingdom conversion on the first date? So uncool. I did not take him up on his offer for a second, but honestly, he wasn’t a dick about it. We run into each other occasionally, and he’s usually friendly. He even apologized for coming on too strong. It’s fine; I can’t blame him. I’d also want to lock this down.” She clicked her tongue and shot finger guns at me.
“You can switch kingdoms?”
She gestured broadly to the bar.
“I knew Hell had a lot of fallen angels and—”
She slurped loudly enough to cut me off. “They didn’t just go to Hell. Some defected to other realms, too. A handful of pantheons have former citizens of Heaven.”
“I just can’t believe…”
“What? Is it the realm-conversion thing? Or is the look on your face over angels dating and marrying? It’s even in that Bible, right there in Genesis. Maybe more book of Enoch. Pick your poison. They even wed humans from time to time, which might be part of why Silas is less of a prick to you. You’re cute. Pretty privilege and all that.”
“That’s what you consider being less of a dick?” I gaped, consciously sidestepping her implication.
Her lips pinched to the side. “This was our first time interacting in a business capacity, and I will admit, I like him a lot less when he’s on the job.”
“On the job, being, coercing me into a bond by involving my mother?”
She swirled the tiny straw in her drink. “He doesn’t get a lot of say in what he does. They have real hierarchy issues over there. His master is a really controlling guy. But I have a theory.”
