Page 103 of The Deer and the Dragon
He offered a half-smile as he said, “I had no choice. Silascalled in his favor, and it certainly seems like he sent me into a box for safekeeping. It could have been worse, by a lot. But Love, I really don’t want you going in there. I’m much more comfortable setting the clinic ablaze.”
“Stop with the fire thing.”
“No…” Azrames looked contemplative. “He has a point.”
“You’re both being insane. We’re going for intelligence. Besides, fire wouldn’t kill a goddess, right?”
“No, no. Very few objects and beings alike can end a god.”
“So it’s settled,” I said with finality.
He wasn’t telling me not to go, nor was he offering an alternate solution. He was the same man who’d issued a tier-five contract to ensure someone arrived to save me, no matter the cost. “I know. I’m not afraid.”
Caliban’s eyes tightened. “I am. Let me gamble with something else.”
“Sure, sure, put your kingdom on the table again. Risk the lives of…what’s the population of Hell? Plus planet Earth? And every other pantheon?” Then more seriously, I said, “Let me do this. I’m just getting a feel for her. I’ll be right back.”
His fingers slipped over my knee, squeezing my thigh. I hadn’t realized how hard I’d been gripping the steering wheel until his touch distracted me. I relinquished my hold on the wheel and exhaled slowly.
“What’s your plan?” Azrames asked.
I closed my eyes and said, “She loves sex work, money, and praise. I have the first two and can manufacture the last. I’ll explain that I’m ready to have a baby and don’t want to stick around and wait for a man to do it.” I looked between them and asked, “Do you think she’ll meet with me herself? What if I go in there and it’s just an intake sheet and a nurse and a demand to come back later?”
Caliban’s lips curled up at the edge as he said, “Then do what you showed the world today.”
“Fake,” I said dryly.
His terse laugh didn’t make sense to me until he said, “No, that you understand the world around you so innately that you can put on whatever mask you need for whoever you meet. It takes incredible empathy, awareness, and psychology to do what you do, Love. You observe, adapt, and respond in the time it takes most to breathe. There are layers to your skill that can’t be taught, not to humans, not to demons or fae or anyone.”
I squeezed the hand on my leg and said, “When you meet Fauna, can you please repeat all of that?”
Azrames’s lips twitched supportively in the rearview mirror.
My eyes went to the clock. Four minutes. “Any parting advice before I go?”
“Yes,” Caliban said, voice serious. “You’re just going in to meet her. Observe what you can. See if you can get a sense for who else in her company might be a citizen of another realm. She could have surrounded herself with humans or be sitting in a castle of demigods. It might be good to casually mention your Nordic blood, as it might verify anythingoffshe senses about you, should your clairsentience be discernable, without setting off alarm bells. Never give her your true name. Even if she somehow knows what’s on your birth certificate, her seeing it online or hearing it secondhand is different from you giving it to her. Sign nothing. Don’t make any agreements. Don’t even saythank you. Don’t—”
“Right, right, fae rules,” I said dismissively.
Caliban stopped mid-sentence.
From the back seat, Azrames said, “I gave her a similar speech before she met…well, your father.”
He laughed, but the sound wasn’t quite happy. “Wise man” was all he said.
“Here.” Az leaned forward and handed me the dagger he’d stolen from Fauna in their final moments. “I’m pretty sure it won’t do you any good even if you do need it, since you’re probably as good at wielding a knife as I am at writingpopular fiction, but I can’t let you go in there without anything pointy. Stick it in your purse and pray you don’t need a dagger.”
Etiam di mori.
I knew the worddeathwhen I saw it, regardless of the language. I thanked Azrames for the murder stick, and he responded with a sad smile. I slipped it into my black bag, glad that I’d selected the larger cross-body purse.
Caliban gave Az a look of gratitude before returning his full attention to me. He tucked his fingers behind my ear, weaving them into my hair before cradling my jaw in his palm. He touched his forehead to mine. “Would you believe me if I told you that saying goodbye to you gets harder each time? Every life, it kills me more and more to not be beside you.”
“Well,” I said, trying to keep my voice light as my lids fluttered closed, “let’s make it through this so this can be my last life. I don’t want to say goodbye again.”
I’m sure he meant to kiss me tenderly. His lips were soft, his hand clutching my face closer to his, but there was nothing gentle about the way he embraced me. His hand slipped through my hair to the back of my head. His tongue swept over mine, the hand on my knee slid up my leg, his body leaned as close to mine as the vehicle allowed. Something about the kiss cracked my heart. A knot formed in my throat, tears lining my eyes as I severed the passionate moment, breaking the kiss.
He kissed me like I was about to die.
