Page 86 of The Deer and the Dragon
“Az!” She shouted from the next room. “Come help me with something.”
He sauntered into the hallway. I closed my laptop and followed him with my face creased in confusion. She was on her hands and knees as she peered under my bed.
“Explain yourself,” I said calmly, leaning against the frame of my own bedroom while a Nordic nymph and shadow demon helped themselves to my personal space.
Az flattened himself on the floor, sliding his long arm into the dark space beneath my bed. He emerged a moment later, hands wrapped around a small…something.
“Explain yourselffaster,” I said, eyes widening in surprise.
Fauna sighed. “Like I said, Silas wants you.”
Azrames extended the object to me. “It’s for sympathy,” he said. “In witchcraft—”
“It’s a poppet,” I said, breathing out the fear-laced word torn from fairy tales. I turned over the tiny golden figurine. It had the unmistakable curves of a human shape. I dug my fingernail into the metal, and my eyebrows lifted in surprise at the nearly imperceptible indentation that confirmed that it was, in fact, gold. I turned it over to see a curious combination of swirls, circles, intersecting lines, and curves etched into it.
He nodded, though it was riddled with his frown.“Almost. Poppets are generally for hexing, and this is more for connection.”
“He’s looking for his in,” Fauna said, crawling onto my bed. She crossed her legs before saying, “Can I just say something?”
We both looked at her before I answered, “I’m confident you will anyway.”
“I think this is a really good thing,” she said, voice lowering until it was scarcely more than a whisper. She looked at the tiny shape in my hands, then back up to me. “Knowing what we know…he could have forced our hands. Instead, it looks like he’s trying to get you to want this.”
I almost dropped the figurine. “He wants me to choose, what? Heaven? The bond?Him?”
Azrames pinched the bridge of his nose. “Maybe all of it. Maybe he just knows how this will shake out the moment the heavenly hosts find out and hopes you’ll take the step of your own free will before you’re forced into chains. After all…” Azrames looked at his feet, eerily quiet as he said, “He and I both know what it’s like to serve that god.”
I threw the figurine onto the bed. “What sort of free will is that?” I demanded, quoting years of theology about accepting the faith of my own volition.
“I had the free will to rebel,” Azrames responded. “And as a result, I’m locked out of Heaven. There were consequences. My choice to fall cost me friends, brothers, a kingdom, and family. I’m engaged in thousands of years of slaughter with smaller numbers on our side and a ruler who values equality, which also means he’s less likely to sacrifice us. Which is great, except when it means—”
“That you might lose the war,” Fauna said, reaching up to squeeze his arm. “You won’t,” she promised. “I mean, you probably would if it were up to Marlow alone, but I’m the wheel steering the ship, here. I’m not going to let her do anything stupid.”
I wanted to argue, but she was right. Everything I’d knownabout Heaven, Hell, the pagan realms, Norse mythology, and international deities had been like Plato’s blind man in a cave. I’d done my best to make sense, then fiction, based on my limited understanding. I was not qualified to wage war.
The tightness in my chest worsened. I wanted Caliban back. I wanted him safe. I wanted him with me. Instead, not only had I sent him away, but he’d gambled with his life, his kingdom, and with every single pantheon by putting out a mark to protect me. He’d been willing to burn it to the ground, and I’d sent him away. Now his soul and the lives of everyone and everything—mortal and immortal alike—rested on my shoulders.
“Will Silas know that you’re here?” I asked.
Both looked at me skeptically.
“I don’t want to wait. He didn’t bring anyone with him when he came to my apartment or when he involved my mother. If you truly think he’s trying to keep other angels out of it—”
Fauna winced.
“What?”
“Your mom…” she said slowly. “If she’s been praying, and knowing the level of her clairvoyance, she may have been spilling more to the angels than we’d want them to know. Now, hopefully this doesn’t change things. As long as Silas kept his mouth shut about the contract he took, your battle is with him. But your mother may have made things harder. She could have told them about me, about our visit, about our disappearing act.”
“Shocker,” I breathed. I shook it away like a dog drying its coat before saying, “Fauna, we smell alike. Even if he smells you here, he might think it’s my fae blood, or just the time we’ve spent together. Az…” I looked around before reaching for the book of matches behind my bed. “Time to light every candle in my apartment to mask the smell of your smoke.”
Fauna nodded with a slow, proud smile. “Maybe we’ll burn something on the stove?”
“We’ll cover it all,” I agreed. “And then, I’ll call him.”
“What will you do?” Fauna asked.
I exhaled slowly before gesturing to the still-sheer shirt. “Maybe I don’t know the rules about giving my name to gods and fae, or about making deals, or about the realms. But I know a thing or two about men, and when it comes to weapons, mine is sharp as a goddamn needle. I’ll do what I do best.”
